Dear Middle School Sydney

Hey bud. You hangin’ in there? I know it’s tough, and very confusing. But I’m you in the future, and I’ve learned a few things in getting here. Mind if I share them?

I know you’re thinking a lot about boys right now. There were only like four in elementary school and all of a sudden they’re everywhere and you’re expected to interact with them and decide if they’re cute or not and hold conversations and it’s enough to make your head spin. I know you really want a boyfriend right now, and I also know that you would have no idea what to do with one if you got him. How often do you feed them? What do they eat? Do you need to take them on walks? In short, how do people do relationships? What do they say? What do they do?

I want to help you realize that you’re asking the wrong questions. You’ll figure it out in about four years, but it’s not “How do people do relationships?” Rather, you should be asking, “How do I want to do my relationship?”

Every single person you meet is completely different from another. They look different, dress differently, and interact with each other in unique ways. How you interact with one of your girl-friends is a whole lot different from how they interact with someone else, right? Boys are just like girls in the way that they are human beings. They interact with each of their friends differently, and a girlfriend is no exception. Just because Jerry’s mom lets him and Amanda go to an R-rated movie together doesn’t mean that you should be seeing R-rated movies with your friends (or crushes). Mom won’t even let you watch the Bachelor, there’s no way you would get away with it.

You would be so bored having a relationship just like everyone else’s.You don’t even really like going to football games with your friends, let alone a boy that you think is aesthetically pleasing but impossible to talk to (aesthetically pleasing means cute). Don’t stress yourself out trying to be like everyone else. There’s a reason you’re not them, and little do you know, they’re not even who you think they are. I know you think they’re really cool, but they aren’t half as cool as they seem to you, and to me they just seem ridiculous.

Don’t twist yourself into knots trying to enjoy sports games and walking around downtown. I know you’re bored out of your mind. A day will come when the boy you think is cute is not the one who does these things (though he would if you wanted), but rather he is the one who will read with you for hours at a time, and play music with you, and go on hikes. You can do a relationship however the heck you want, and it is not the place of anyone else to tell you what works for you. Be patient with yourself as you are. You know what you really love, even if you don’t know that you know it.