I’m not really talking about a cruise with your family or two weeks in Europe for Summer vacation, though it may still apply. I’m talking about long haul I’m going to be away from home for a damn long time type travel. Even those who have found passion in their passport still have room in their wanderlust hearts for romance. Sometimes it can be tricky to share your need for companionship with the need to explore.
The basic human need for a relationship is completely natural, and even the most independent people fall victim to a little neediness from time to time. If traveling is your priority, but you find yourself shacked up with someone you met at a party that you didn’t really intend to fall in love with, there are some things in your relationship you need to assess. First, as in all relationships you need to establish a healthy level of trust. With no trust there’s no way your relationship will survive even a minute of long distance. We all know long distance is hard, and there’s a stigma of impossibility around it, but if you’re optimistic and still want to make it work, then go for it. Just make sure there’s a level of communication that works for the both of you, and that you’ve established enough trust in each other and the relationship.
If know you’re leaving for a long time, but you end up with a really awesome partner, be up front about the fact that you’re leaving. Have multiple conversations about you skipping the country long term. If you’re comfortable enough saying this, let them know that they can change their mind at any point. They don’t have to stay with you if they don’t want to, but be clear that you’d appreciate it if they didn’t wait to decide when you’re already far away from home. Break ups suck, but they suck a little less when you’re not alone in a different country. If they do decide the relationship is cool enough to stick it out even though you’re plane tickets are booked, then make sure that they know what they’re in for. It would be helpful if this person has done some long term travel of their own. That way they know how distant everyone involved is going to feel. If they’re not already familiar with this feeling of disconnection, it’s going to hit them like a ton of bricks as soon as they start to notice how far away you really are.
You can have all the confidence in the world about your relationship, but as soon as shit gets real they might just drop you like it’s hot the second things get rough. So, it would be healthy to prepare yourself for the very real possibility that things just might not work. I know love can put blinders on reality, but it’s important to be aware of every possibility.
The only sure way to not end up heartbroken abroad is to focus on your goals and not fall in love before you ship out. I know plenty of people do it successfully, but it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. If you or your partner have any doubts vocalize them and try to decide whether or not it’s worth it before hand. Mending a broken heart while on the move is almost an impossible feat, but if you do find yourself crying about lost love then try to focus on the positive as much as possible. You’ll have a new community to take you into it’s arms and distract you from the post break up bitterness. Remember your love for travel and keep trucking. Love comes and goes, but your passport is valid for ten years.
