Modern dating, as we all know, has become more of an interaction between technologies as opposed to an interaction between people. Gone are the days when men ask women out in person. Gone are the days when hand written letters and post cards express one’s love. Gone are the days when stargazing and picnics were the best way to get to know someone. We have become too enveloped in our modern way of living that we have forgotten what love is all about. Here is my advice on how to be in a relationship in the 21^st Century.

Live in the moment

Put down the camera — if there is anyone who takes too many pictures with their significant other, it’s me — but there comes a point when you have to ask, how much are you actually enjoying the experience you’re sharing if you’re on Snapchat and Facebook telling everyone about it? If it’s a Kodak moment, so be it. Snap a photo, save it and share it later. Spend this time with the person you love, I promise you it’ll be a better experience.

Write Letters

Almost any girl will tell you she will melt at the sight of a hand written love letter from her boyfriend. But girls, this doesn’t excuse you. I’m sure your significant other would very much so like a thoughtful, handwritten letter from you as well. Whether you take the time to write down your feelings or you just tell them about your day, they’ll appreciate the effort.

Make Phone Calls/FaceTime

Although a hand written letter is pretty much perfect, we do have access to a much quicker form of communication, i.e phones. Of course I love texting my boyfriend all day long, and I can picture him saying each text with all of his cute little quirks, but there is nothing like the real thing. Texting is pretty much required these days, but that doesn’t mean we should forget about the importance of a phone call.

Go on Dates

I’m sorry, but Netflix and Chill is stupid. It is not a date, its a ball-less way to ask someone to hookup. Nobody said dates had to be expensive or cost any money at all. Next time you’re at the grocery store, add a few more items to the list and make a cute candlelit dinner. Or pack a picnic basket and plan a stargazing date night, a sunset hike, or just a picnic in the park. Go to a museum, an art gallery or an aquarium. Cuddling on the couch in sweats watching a movie is just what you need sometimes. But sex shouldn’t be so important that you each and every “date” revolves around it.

Commit

If you like someone, you like ‘em. If they break your heart, that will seriously suck. But stop being afraid to commit to one person. Don’t just “be talking” or “hanging out.” I cant tell you the amount of times I’ve heard, “Well we aren’t dating, but I mean like we’re talking and hanging out.” Hate to break it to you but that means you’re dating, you just want to be able to say your single if something else comes along.

Stop Searching for Better

This refers to my previous point about commitment. People frequently are involved with one person but seeking another because they feel like there is someone more attractive, someone funnier, someone smarter. Stop looking for something else when you already have something so great. Get off tinder when you’re involved. It’ll still be there if something happens to your relationship.

Get to Know Each Other Beyond the Eye

Speaking of tinder, of course attraction is a major factor in choosing your partner, but it shouldn’t be the deciding factor. Tinder is great because it lets you know who thinks you’re attractive that you also think is attractive without all the awkwardness. But I kind of think the awkwardness is the best part. Because even if you don’t think they are as attractive as you might some others, that doesn’t mean you can’t still fall in love with his/her personality. A relationship is about far more than what meets the eye.

Love Yourself

Love yourself enough to know when you’re being mistreated and have the courage and self-respect to get out of that relationship. Love yourself enough to know what you want in your relationship and in your future and be strong enough to make that a priority.

Be Faithful

For Heaven’s sake people stop cheating. If you aren’t happy with the person you are with, break up with them. If you are happy with the person you’re with but feel attracted to someone else, decide if what you have is worth losing, because if anyone listens to the “love yourself” point, they won’t be sticking around long.

Words of Affirmation

Most couples today feel like they are only truly in a relationship when its publically posted somewhere such as Facebook. Understandably, they want their significant other to be comfortable enough with people knowing their relationship status, but there are other ways to make someone feel as though you want to be with them. Words of affirmation go a long way. A simple, “you’re so handsome” or “I love when you wear your hair like that” can really brighten someone’s day but not quite as much as “You are, without a doubt, my better half and I love you.” Just remember to love love as much as you love your partner because that makes it so much easier.