I might be totally biased, but I think it goes without saying that Italians do it best. Why? Well, because we have the best food, prettiest cities, and overall are just amazing people. So here is a little article in tribute to all things Italians understand first-hand. You know you're italian when...
1. Your mom calls and the first thing she asks is if you ate today.
"How are you? How was your day? Did you eat? Okay good."
2. Having just enough food for everyone at the family function is not enough, because enough is having a sh*t ton of leftovers.
You give some to your family and you still have enough in your house to last you as lunch every day for the next week.
3. Jar sauce is a sin... especially Ragu.
*Vomits in mouth*
4. "Can you lower your voice?"
"No sorry, I'm Italian."
5. When you were little you knew it was going to be a good holiday when your parents were bringing this mysterious object to your family's house:
6. Once you were old enough to understand what was so special about what was in that bag you your uncle or older cousin probably let you try some without your mother knowing.
For those of you who don't understand- it's alcohol. Probably wine.
7. Telling a story without using your hands is impossible.
"I dare you to sit on your hands and talk!" -That annoying kid on your bus in 7th grade every time you told a story
8. Your grandmother insists you eat something every time you are at her house.
And she doesn't take no for an answer. You just ate? Well then just have a little something. You have the stomach flu? Eating some of her chicken cutlets will make you feel better. Your mouth is wired shut? Too bad, eat something anyway.
9. The appetizers and antipasto at holidays are enough to fill you but you still eat two or three more courses after that.
*Insert prosciutto and fresh mozzarella here*
10. You're pretty sure "no carb diets" are a joke.
You cannot stay alive without BREAD!!!
11. Your everyday vocabulary consists of small Italian phrases no one else really understands.
Oh gosh, he's such a gavone don't even get me started. And that chick he's dating... what a putana.
12. There is someone named Anthony in your family.
Actually, there is probably more than one Anthony.
13. The card is the staple to any gift.
"Don't forget to sign that card!" -Your mom, all the time.
14. "You're giving me agita!"
What your mom says whenever you stress her out a little.
15. You have the plates, forks, knives, and glasses you eat off of everyday, and then another set for when there's company.
"Put out the good dishes tonight"
16. Your dad wears a chain.
Not in a ghetto way though, it's tasteful.
17. Nothing grinds your gears more than when people say how much they love Italian food, and then go on to talk about Olive Garden.
#Fake
