I never believed it, either. Everyone used to tell me, during my hardest times, you must fall before you rise, but I never believed them.
After taking some of the hardest classes I have yet taken in undergrad, I have learned a lot about myself. I've had a lot of up and downs, late nights and early mornings, success and defeat. But, all of that aside, this semester proved to be invaluable to not only my outlook on school/ being pre-med/ being a good student, but also enlightened me as a person.
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I walked into this semester with the goal of getting a 4.0. I really told myself that it was possible. But, that was the problem. I told myself it was possible, but I never looked into how I was going to do it, when I was going to find the time to do it, what I was going to do to achieve that, or even why I wanted to do that. Sure, we always strive for perfection, and everyone knows that medical schools love 4.0s. But, what is a 4.0 when you haven't learned anything about yourself along the way?
And so, my journey began. I studied for Organic Chemistry every night, kept up with my readings in every class, and did my homeworks. Then, October hit. That's right, my perfect work ethic fell apart in just about three weeks. My focus shifted -- being so grade oriented -- and I started focusing primarily on my harder classes where earning better grades was more difficult. I pretty much only studied for those subjects, and neglected the rest.
And that is probably my biggest regret. I was so focused on getting this 4.0 and acing my pre-med classes that I neglected all else, in stupidity, and just got caught up like a kitten in a spool of yarn (that analogy is a lot cuter than I was at this time).
But, am I mad about it? Sure. Today, being my last final, gave me more than enough time (precisely 5 hours) to heavily contemplate and complain about how my grades weren't where I wanted them to be, how I should have monitored my grades better, how I should have gone to office hours, and how many regrets I have. You might pity me and my disappointment, but I don't.
I'm happy I had a rough semester. It drove me absolutely nuts. Going from four to seven classes from last year to this year didn't initially seem like a big deal, but I very quickly realized that it was. And, don't get me wrong, I fidgeted during my exams and I cried about my grades, had the mental breakdowns, and all of it. But, I grew from it. That's what matters to me, and if you are in the same situation, that's what should matter to you.
Never forget to step back and ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. Is a fake 4.0 really worth it? Or is a 3.7 you earned worth so much more? Are you studying and using test banks to pass an exam to pass a test and get into medical school? Or are you acquiring knowledge and understanding concepts that will help you actually save a life one day?
Perspective, my friends. It's all over now (*sigh of relief*). But, take a step back and embrace your flaws, your failure, and most of all, yourself.
