It was Saturday night, or Sunday morning depending on how you look at it. I was scrubbing off my thick eyeliner and brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed. I was exhausted. It had been a long night. My phone vibrated, telling me I received a Facebook message from a boy, one who had recently friended me. I had accepted his request because I knew he was friends with some of my own, but I couldn’t remember if we’d ever actually met in person. He asked if I want to hang out. Glancing at the time, I sighed when I realized it was 2 AM. I messaged him back; I told him “not tonight.” He objected, saying I was still awake so why couldn’t I hang out with him and his friends for a little bit? He said “You’re up now anyways,” he asked, “What if I come to you?” he pleaded, “Tonight is a good weekend, and you’re not asleep.” I started to feel uneasy. I hoped he didn’t know where I live. I said good night and decided that I would stop responding. But he didn’t stop messaging me.
“What’s the big deal maybe I did wanna hook up with you sorry if you don’t like to hook up”
“I’m not a fan of girls that argue 24/7 so I’m gonna go to bed”
“Realize when someone wants to hang out with you and respect it”
“Your missing your chance”
As an English major, I was struggling to ignore his improper use of the word ‘your,’ but as a woman and as a person, I was struggling to ignore his blatant disrespect for me and my choice to say no. I fought back, telling him that I thought he was a nice guy and would have wanted to hang out with him, but not if he thought a ‘not tonight’ meant I was an ungrateful b****. I said, “Don’t treat me like I don’t deserve respect.”
His comebacks just sealed his fate. “F*** off.” “You don’t even f***ing know me, so way to judge me a**hole.” “You will never get with me because I respect women way more than you know and your an ass for treating me like that.”
There it was again. Not just the ‘your,’ but the disrespect. I was so angry that I was shaking. I texted my best friend and asked if he could come over. As soon as I opened the door, he asked me what was wrong. I started to cry. I was embarrassed. All of a sudden, I didn’t want him to read the messages. Surely I was just making a big deal out of nothing. He helped me calm down and took the phone out of my hands. He read the messages and promptly blocked the boy from Facebook. He looked me in the eyes and said, “If he ever tries to contact you or speak to you, tell me. That is not okay.”
I was angry at the boy for treating me like trash, and I was mad at whoever taught him it was okay to speak to me like that. I was angry at society for teaching me that I should forgive him because he’s ‘just being a guy’ so I should stop overreacting. My best friend, my brother, and even my Mom told me to forget about it. He can’t just get away with it, can he? Or I guess he can.
