I refuse to date someone I couldn't see marrying.
Yep, I said it.
Cue stampede of guys running far, FAR away.
But I don't care. Every single guy who runs isn't what I'm looking for.
Some people may look at this article and say "well duh" but others are terrified by this statement. Look, I'm busy. I live a fast paced life full of ambition and desire of reaching my dreams. I don't have time to waste on guys who aren't in it for the long haul. Period.
Have you ever realized when you get into a relationship there are only two things that can happen afterwards? You either break up or get married. It's as simple as that.
So why would I waste my time on someone I'm pretty sure I'm going to break up with?
Now I'm talking about the perspective that you've gotten to know this person, not that you just met them on a first date. But dates are there for that reason; to figure out if this person is really what you want. Most people will claim that they date around because they don't know what they want. You may not know every little detail about the love of your life, but you know what you find attractive and what kind of person you can see yourself with. Others may not be aware of their dating habits and not put forth the mental effort of only dating guys they could see spending the rest of their lives with.
Just imagine the pros; you and this amazing person you like both go into the relationship already knowing you could potentially have this person the rest of your life, and they feel the same. Think about how much healthier your relationship will be. Even if down the road one of you realizes this isn't what you really wanted, at least you went into it with the best possible intentions.
Remember: It's not an expectation that you WILL marry this person but that you COULD marry them.
Maybe this an upfront approach, but at least the guy I’m potentially interested in knows straight up what I want and he knows not to waste my time. He’s not playing games or just lonely. I know that I can give my whole heart to him because that’s what he wants. And he knows I expect the same from him.
So don’t be afraid to say no to someone you know you would never marry. You don’t have to date around. You don’t have to give people a chance when you know it’s not right. Take the time to figure out what you want in a long term relationship. Don’t waste your time, or anyone else’s, on something that isn’t going to last.
Shoot for that guy you could see buying your ideal home with. Go for the guy you can imagine raising kids with. Choose the guy you can see loving the rest of your life. Why would you want to be with anyone less?
