I Refuse To Apologize For My Anxiety | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

I Refuse To Apologize For My Anxiety

I'm not sorry for my anxiety, but I am sorry that you don't try to understand.

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I Refuse To Apologize For My Anxiety
Words By Jason

I've dealt with anxiety for a good part of my life. It comes up out of nowhere with no rhyme or reason. Panic attacks happen or I just freak out. I shake, I hyperventilate, my heart pounds, and sometimes I have chest pain. My senses are on high alert because my brain always perceives something as a threat.

I have learned coping mechanisms. I deal with a lot of my anxiety without bringing it to other people's attention, but some things I can't. My anxiety is a burden to me and others around me. I know this. It affects them and that's not fair.

While it happens, I've learned that my anxiety isn't something I need to go around apologizing for. If you know me you know I have anxiety and that it affects me and in some way will end up affecting you.

People have lashed out at me because of it but in the end I'm not sorry. You might have to deal with the repercussions of it sometimes but it's something I have to wade through and deal with every day.

I am not sorry that my anxiety has triggers, and that when I tell you them, you can't seem to understand why they pertain to you because you don't try to understand. My anxiety is something that won't go away. You cause me stress when you don't try to understand or talk to me about it. I have to walk on eggshells as to hope to not upset you because while you might need a reason I'm being sent into a panic attack I don't have one. My anxiety doesn't only inconvenience you. It inconveniences me too. I cannot do half the things I want to do.

I feel awful that sometimes my anxiety comes off as me being selfish and controlling. It's not. I hate living with it. That you might not be able to see it, but my anxiety tears me apart anytime it comes to you because I don't want to ruin things for you. It truly hurts me.

Anxiety is something that takes over someone's life until they are taught to deal with it. It's scary and sometimes it rears it's despicable head at the most inconvenient time over the stupidest thing.

That doesn't mean it isn't valid. It doesn't mean someone should call it silly and dismiss it with something along the lines of it is only in your head and what you are saying is ridiculous.

So please stop invalidating anxiety. Stop calling things silly. Stop calling things ridiculous. They aren't. Anxiety is real. It hurts the person that has it. If it causes you an inconvenience it's not nearly as bad as the person dealing with it, and believe me that they feel awful about it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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