Birth order affects every person in one way or another. Your birth order is supposed to depict your personality and approach to life in one way or another. For example, the eldest child has “first born traits,” such as bossiness, or being the vice-parent, the middle child has “middle child traits,” such as being rambunctious or the adventurous one, and the youngest child has “youngest child traits,” such as being the most sociable of the family or spoiled. But can the order of which siblings were born in truly define the persons?

I have never been able to be placed into a category. Being an only child I am the eldest, the middle, and the youngest, but where do I fit? It is true that I greatly enjoy independence and am able to take care of myself and life tasks if my parents are not around, like the eldest child. It is also true however, that I am a social butterfly and logically the baby of the family, which since my parents have no one else to provide for I get the bulk of their attentions and intentions. I do not however see this as being “spoiled,” because being an only child is not easy by any means.

Most people would think that having all of their parents’ attention would be a wonderful thing. However, from personal experience, I can vouch that being in the spotlight of your parent’s approval is not always an easy thing. There is no preoccupation with other siblings’ activities, problems, or sins to lower the intensity of the spotlight either. Not only do only children get the bulk of the good things coming from their parents, but they also get the bulk of the bad things as well.

One of the most difficult things about being an only child is the social aspect of it. Take a family vacation to the beach for example. Swimming, boogie boarding, and making sand castles on a beach vacation is a blast with your siblings. Sure there might be fights or small annoyances, but in the end, you still have people to hang out with on your vacation. Now take all of that away and picture yourself on the beach with only your parents. The roaring waves are calling for you to join in the fun, but what fun can you have alone in the water? There is just nothing fun about tanning and playing on the beach with just your parents. Another example of this social awkwardness is a family dinner party at grandma’s. Lacking cousins in my family living close by, I am the youngest one at these occasions by about 35 years. If I had siblings, I could have someone of a somewhat relatable age to talk to or hang out with. This was especially hard as a young kid. There are only so many things you can do by yourself at grandma’s house without dying of boredom.

From begin an only child I have learned several things. I discovered my passion for reading at a very young age, an escape from grandma’s house and the lonesome beach. I learned wisdom and maturity by watching the people I was surrounded by who were older than me and not relatable. I learned the life skill of observation, and perfected it while sitting around lacking siblings. I learned that my parents are not perfect people, but just because their expectations for me are high, does not mean they love me any less. But most importantly, I learned how to be with my self and be content. In a crowded room or a new place with unfamiliar faces, I have both the social skills learned from observation and the ability to be comfortable with only knowing myself. In the end, I suppose that my birth order, or lack there of, really has defined me as a person.