For me, my freshman year was not been exactly what I expected. I expected butterflies in my stomach and happiness radiating through my smile. I expected friends, mostly. Friends everywhere because no one knows anyone yet, and you’re all in the same boat. It’s not really like that though, or at least it wasn’t for me. For me, the first two weeks of my freshman year of college were absolutely awful. I had my roommate, who is one of my best friends from home, and I had a few friends on my floor, but nothing significant to what I expected. While, what felt like, every other person I met was thriving, I was just there. Just going through the motions, trying to be happy, trying to force myself to do better. It truly sucked though to be completely honest and I spent a lot of nights in tears wanting nothing more than to be home in my own bed and in my own room.
But I went on. Hopeful for the future, hopeful for my friends, hopeful for my school. I really enjoyed my classes though and I met some people in those that I consider some of my best friends now. As for my social life outside of those, I was still trying. The first half of the semester friends came and went. Some are still around, most weren’t that important. I truly believed that the friends I made within my first month at college would be my best friends, my friends for the next four years, and then for life. I’m here to tell all of you, or at least the few who are going to go to college at some point, that this is almost completely not true. I can recall maybe one person who was honestly a good friend of mine in September that I know will be around for the future. The rest were just passing by, just fillers for when the real thing starts to happen. Maybe not everyone’s experience was like this, but mine was.
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When October and November rolled around, that’s when real friendships sprouted. I began to become really close with my floor, really close with people in my major, and I even started the process of joining a service sorority. I was feeling good about my life, finally. Things still weren’t how I thought they were supposed to be though. Every time I went home on breaks, saw the snapchat stories of people from back home, or went on social media, I was reminded of this irrefutable fact. I was stuck and I was lost, and I felt like I only had a few people who I could count on. I had friends, but none of them felt real to the level you want them to be. People always seemed like they had other, better friends and I was just one of them, not the most important, or even that important, just there.
Once the semester started to reach its close though, I really started to feel positive about the future. I was genuinely happy regardless of the amount of friends that I had or didn't have. I could count the ones that I knew were real on one hand, but that was fine, as long as I knew I had them.
Spring semester has been different. I know what true friendship is now, and I know that what I had last semester wasn't it, but it was something along the way to it. Because last semester, I didn't have nights like I have now. Now, I know that friendship is staying up till 3 AM talking about life with people you know you'll love forever. Friendship is eating too many cupcakes and drinking too much wine while trying to play heads up. Friendship is already planning for a study abroad trip with someone when you both have not yet/may not be accepted to it at all. It's watching too many YouTube videos, it's spending too much money at target and too many hours in a book store, it's laughing until you feel tears running down your cheeks. The friendships I have now are worth so much more than the temporary ones I was settling for last semester because I was told that those were the right ones. The people I know now are the people I want to hang out with in the summer, the people I want to be in my wedding, the people I want my kids to know. It's crazy, it's like we've all had our own completely separate lives up to this point, but yet these are some of the best people I've ever met and ever want to meet.
Overall, my point is that you shouldn’t trust stereotypes about people and about the way you’re told things should be. Because there is no way things 'should' be. There is how they are and how you want them to be. The way you want them to be may not line up with everyone else's way, but that's completely fine. For some people friends obviously take a long time to be made, but that's just how you know they're going to last longer than the day one friends some other people are making.
