Is it just me, or is being an adult really weird? Like actually becoming one?

When I was younger, adulthood seemed like this defining moment in my life where I'd have a career, house, car, and possibly a significant other as well. It seemed like adulthood was a distinct, separate phase in my life that indicated a clear moment of personal development. Truth is, I'm discovering that adulthood really isn't like that.

It's definitely different from starting high school. Freshman year was a clear transition for me for two reasons: I went from a private Christian school to a public school, and there's already a clear distinction between your high school years and your previous ones. New environment, new people, new classes, new end goal- all of this and more defined my high school career.

College was definitely the biggest change, though. I went to an out-of-state school, had to really learn how to prioritize, and make a lot of decisions on my own. In a way, this may have been where adulthood started for me, but it felt like I had a safety net. Sure, college had tuition costs, but I never had to worry about rent, finding a job wasn't crucial, and I technically hadn't moved out yet. Plus, since I was still in school, it didn't really feel like I was becoming an adult, at least not until my last two years.

The purpose of my education has always been to prepare me for the next phase of my life. Every year of my life up until now has come with its own concrete goals: do well to get to the next grade/semester. College had an even bigger goal: do well for your future. Now that I'm at my future, it's sort of like, "OK. Now what?"

Sure, there are still goals that are built in to this next chapter in my life: get a job to support myself, get a place of my own, etc. However, I have a lot more freedom now than I did in school. Sure, I picked my classes, but there were a lot that I was required to take, and the schedule pretty much made itself. Now, it's a lot more work on my part, especially since the job I have now is working from home. I'm not complaining or anything; it's just weird. Like, I know I'm an adult, but it doesn't really feel like I am. It feels more like adulthood kinda melted into the rest of my life. Now that I'm done with school, the safety net's gone, but, contrary to my cover photo, it doesn't feel like I'm falling or like I'm heading into this great new chapter of my life.

Really, it just feels like the next page of my life is being written. It's both underwhelming and overwhelming for me: underwhelming because I always thought I'd "feel" when I became an adult, yet overwhelming because I'm now at the future I've worked towards for my entire life. There's a lot more freedom here, and, for a person who likes structure, it's a little nerve-wracking.

So what's the bright side to all this? Really, it's the freedom. I know it's a cliche, but life really is what you make it. Granted, you may not get the perfect job and/or living arrangements right away, but you can set your own goals, make your own path, and live the way you want to (responsibly, of course).

Granted, the days of longing for the convenience of childhood aren't over, but neither are the days of creating a life to help me become the person I want to be. And that's exciting.