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Reflecting On My Past

Have you ever thought about the person you use to be, and the person you have become?

Noemi Guzman

Feb 06, 2017

St Olaf College

267

Recently, I have taken a lot of time to look back at everything I've experienced so far. I've looked at all of the challenges I've faced, friends that have come and gone, guys I was interested in, dreams that I had, and all the drama that I endured. Now, I realize that I survived a lot of SHIT. I was actually able to handle everything, and came out of it even stronger. Along with this, I learned so much about myself during this time, and I realized that all of the those feelings transferred on to the person that I am now.

Before I would cave in to the drama, and do my best to deal with it. Before I took the time to get along with everyone, and I did my best to not have any problems with anyone. I did my best to save my friendships, and I was very forgiving of people.

Now, all that is gone. Drama always seems to follow me, and trust me I try very hard to contain myself. Now, I don't care to be friends with everyone, and honestly I don't even try to tolerate everyone anymore. When it comes to friendships, I do my best to make them work, but it takes two to make a friendship work; or any kind of relationship really. When it comes to guys, I don't focus on it to much. But on top of that, I'm not very forgiving of people anymore. When people wrong me the first time around, I walk away and don't come back. People may think that I am a bitch, but I don't care. I'm not trying to impress anyone, and I don't care to have everyone like me. All I'm doing is focusing on me.

I realized that what I went through in high school, prepared me for what I have experienced or have yet to experience in college. It made me into a young, independent, Latina that has complete control of who she is. I am someone who not afraid of all of the challenges that life has yet to throw at me. The girl who has managed to pick up the pieces and put herself back together, who is completely content with who she is. I learned how to handle bullshit, and how to deal with people in a way that is best for me; even if that means losing a friend. I have learned to be a little selfish and focus on my dreams. I learned that I need to do things for me. Taking a look back at the person I use to be, to the person I am now. I can say that I have changed, for the better, and that I like myself now more than ever. Especially because I am such a badass.

I guess changing is a part of life, and I'm glad I became the woman I am today.

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Reflecting On My Past

Have you ever thought about the person you use to be, and the person you have become?

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The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

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