As long as media has existed, it has attempted to define beauty by assaulting consumers at every turn with what they believe to be attractive. Man or woman, child or adult, there is some form of media out there trying to show you what you should be: magazines, billboards, commercials, even the actors and actresses in the TV shows you watch. Look at their figures. Listen to what beauty companies advertise. Notice the similarities. This is how the media pressures us to look, because if we look this way, we’ll be beautiful or we’ll be handsome. We’ll be desirable

The definition of beauty that companies (because companies are behind all of these ads and things) is so painfully superficial. It leads to self-esteem issues and eating disorders, among countless other negative things.

While I cannot change this on my own, I can tell you my definition of beauty, one that envelopes so many more of you than the societal one does. Maybe you’ll even agree with some of what I say, or, better yet, take it to heart. Maybe this can be the start of a change the world needs.

Darlings, beauty is not a clothing size, a weight, a height. Beauty isn’t a number. It’s you in your favorite outfit, whether that be a skin-tight number you’d wear to a club or a t-shirt and baggy sweats. Anything in between is perfect, too.

Beauty isn’t a color, be it for skin, hair, eyes, you name it. Beauty is the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about. Beauty is your head thrown back with careless laughter that’s bound to leave your chest aching and heaving. It’s in the face you make as you sleep on the car ride home, so much like the child you used to be whether you’re 20 or 80. It’s your fingers intertwined with those of a person you love. It’s how you reach for your parent’s hand, or you take your child’s hand, as you dash across the crosswalk before the little white person switches back to a flashing red hand and the cars start driving again.

Beauty is your joyful screams as the roller coaster goes down the first drop. It’s the image of your drenched rainboot and coat after a good game of puddle hopping. It’s your face lit only by firelight as you and your friends trade memories and urban legends like baseball cards. It’s you and the one you love kissing, maybe dancing, so lost in each other that the world has faded from around you. It’s you quoting the movies you love as they play, or tossing out dialogue from a book at will, maybe even reciting a poem. It’s every selfie you refused to post and deleted because the lighting wasn’t just right or your face was too goofy.

Beauty is your mess of a bedroom. It’s the mess of stuffed animals you keep but refuse to let your friends see because they’re too childish (or, for you gents, too girly) for you to still have. It’s every hope and dream you’ve ever had, whether you’ve followed it or not. It’s the way you sing and dance at red lights because your favorite song is on the radio. It’s how you rest your head on the nearest friendly shoulder because you’re too tired to sit up. It’s Gatorade stained mouths, teeth and tongues discolored from lollipops. It’s your hint of a smile or roaring laughter when you open a text from your best friend. It’s your drooping eyelids and quiet (or not so quiet) yawns after a long day. It’s affection shown through hugs and kisses or a simple “Let me know when you get home.” It’s the gap between your teeth, your lopsided smile. It’s your tear stained cheeks that prove that you can feel, and you do. It’s your hands, calloused or perfectly manicured.

You see, my dears, beauty is not simply one thing. Flowers and sunsets are beautiful, but they don’t look anything alike, and there are so many varieties of each. Photography and other art forms are so expansive because beauty is so varied, and lives in so many things.

If so many things in so many shapes and sizes can all be beautiful, then why can’t all of us?

I’m sorry the world teaches so many of us that beauty is out of reach, that we are taught early on that we never will be what the companies want us to be.

The truth is, no matter who you are, you are beautiful. Beauty has no mold; it lives inside all of us.