Autumn 2012- The Leaves Fell Hard, I Fell Harder

I don’t remember exactly when it started but I began to notice that Jay would ignore me sometimes. He would go days, weeks and at some point over a month without talking to me. No warning, whatsoever and no explanation when he returned. It worried me because for one, I thought that I was bothering him when I would try to reach out after it had been a few days and two; I started to feel like he was losing interest, or had found someone else. But I held on. I didn’t want to be one of those “clingy” … girlfriends? So I always let it go. I would ask him once and then let it go if I didn’t get an answer. I wanted to show that I was mature for my age and not be like all the girls I went to school with who were constantly talking about how they were spying on their boyfriends

It had to be October when he stopped talking to me for about a month. I almost had given up on any chance that he was still interested in me when I decided to send him one last text message. It read something along the lines of “Hey Jay… I’m not sure what’s going on with you but you haven’t spoken to me in like a month and you’ve left me wondering if maybe I did something wrong… I don’t want to keep texting you because I feel like a bother so I’ll just leave you alone but if you still care about me you can text me back whenever you get a chance and I’ll be around.”

I think I only waited around for a few days for a response, but eventually, I did get one that went something like “Don’t feel like a bother baby, I’ve just been in a really bad place lately but I’m getting better. I still care about you, I’m sorry I haven’t been answering your messages,” only a little less coherent.

After this, the longest that we went without talking was maybe a day or so. We were constantly texting each other. Even if it seemed like we didn’t have anything to talk about, we would find something. I didn’t think things could get any better until we started Skyping.