My first real semester of college classes is over. I begin taking my finals this week and as I've been drowning myself in studying, I have inevitably come to wonder why I'm doing all of this. College is more overwhelming than anything I've ever experienced and in the past five or so months I've contemplated what I really want my future to be and come to the conclusion that I need to get my degree. Every. Single. Time. As a result I had to find ways to get through the rest of my days before Christmas and I am now using them to get through my finals.
I have found that it's incredibly easy to feel like you aren't doing anything worthwhile for your first semester or even your first year of college because it normally takes about a year before you're even in classes for your major. I'm lucky to start a few of those classes in this upcoming spring but for now I am nothing short of bored. It's difficult to find motivation in classes that you don't really care for, which explains my current astronomy grade. But I've come to see that there is still value in the classes that you don't think you have any use for. In my case, I'm an English major who is currently in her last math and science classes ever. At first, I was grateful. I'll be the first to tell you that those subjects are not my strong suit, yet it's still a little bittersweet to know that I don't get to take them anymore. I realize now that though these classes (hopefully) will not be conducive to the rest of my life, they represent the culmination of my math and science education. If nothing else, that is something to be proud of.
As I continue to reflect on what I've really accomplished this semester, it still doesn't feel like very much yet. Although I know that it ended up being exactly what I needed. I may have had to take classes that won't help to advance my future career and classes that I downright did not want to be in, but I learned a lot about myself and what I can handle. I have more faith in myself than ever and as I continue my undergraduate journey, I know that I will be ok with just about anything that is thrown at me.
Recognize that no matter how difficult this semester was and how painful your finals will be, that you accomplished something. You're on your way to improving your life and being the best you that you can be. This is still the beginning, GPAs can be saved but self esteem is harder to resuscitate. College is a time to discover new things about yourself, you have just discovered that you can handle so much more than you may have thought.
