Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by another girl. Now, raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by a girl you thought was your friend.

Girls can be mean. The girls we think would never treat us poorly do. It happens with no warning. One day everything is great, you are laughing, walking down the halls of school, and the next day you are suddenly no longer friends. You have no idea why.

Certain girls, consciously or unconsciously, can only life themselves up putting others down. Mean girls have the desire and ruthlessness to degrade, to poke fun, to humiliate, and to shame. They feel elevated by making you crawl into your bed crying; never wanting to leave. And the worst part is, most of the time the mean girl is your friend who makes you feel this way.

While many of us have been victimized, many of us have also been the “mean girl.” Regretfully, I had my moment as the “mean girl.” I may not have been as bad as Regina George, but I definitely was not the nicest. You can ask any of my friends or classmates from sixth grade; I was straight-up mean. I used to tell people where to sit at lunch, who they could and could not talk to, and I would intentionally leave other girls out. By the time I got to seventh grade, my friends had had enough and stopped tolerating my bullshit. I had to change. I had to stop being that mean girl. And it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

When it comes to “mean girls,” the cliché seem to be true—what comes around does go around. It isn’t cool to be that girl. Being mean and making others cower may make you feel important for a brief amount time, but in the end it doesn’t get you anywhere.

So, when your “best friend” decides not to include in you the group’s Halloween costume, know that the tide will turn eventually and the mean girl will be the one left out. When the Heather or Regina George or Madison Morgan of your world starts spreading rumors about you, don’t give her the satisfaction of seeing that it hurts. Laugh off how ridiculous she sounds and appears, and remember that no one will get away with being mean forever. Mean girls simply don’t finish on top.

So, instead, be the nice girl. Be the girl who says hi to everyone in the hallway. Be the girl that is complementary, and is always smiling. Be the girl that includes everyone. Instead of getting upset, frustrated, or angry about the mean things your friends say or do, be strong and, rise above them. Instead of feeling small, ridiculed, or offended, say “thank you.” Be thankful for making you a stronger and more independent person. Be flattered that you are the standard this mean girl feels the need to bring down.

The best way to deal with a “mean girl” is to pay her no mind, and live your life as you know you can and should.