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The Recipe For College Survival

Just add a few cups of tears and coffee.

Hailey Whitham

Oct 31, 2016

Ouachita Baptist University

hercampus.com

We all get overwhelmed with college classes, but I have a solution for you. Here I have put together the ultimate recipe for college survival, give or take a few ingredients.

1. Two tablespoons of Self-Discipline

I'm serious. Get that paper done. Those Instagram posts can wait until later, and so can your Snapchat story.

2. A cup of Rest

This ties in with self-discipline. Quit procrastinating and get some rest or you won't survive tomorrow night either.

3. A dash or two of Coffee

You have to stay awake somehow for those unavoidable late nights!

4. One-quarter cup of Tears

That stress can't stay inside you forever. Just let it out. Just make sure it's not in the middle of class.

5. A teaspoon of Punctuality

Make sure you at least glance at the maximum amount of absences in that syllabus before you sleep in!

6. At least 3 friends

It'll be a lot harder if you don't have a few people to keep you going.

7. A pinch of Suck-Up

Even if your grades suck, you gotta get on your professor's good side. Even sitting in the front and smiling occasionally can suffice.

8. 10 mg. of Anxiety Medication (optional)

For those who are feeling extra overwhelmed (me included.)

Now stir until well mixed and bake for 4-5 years, 3 if you're feeling extra studious.

Serve when done baking, with a diploma on the side. Congratulations!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Recipe For College Survival

Just add a few cups of tears and coffee.

1. Two tablespoons of Self-Discipline

2. A cup of Rest

3. A dash or two of Coffee

4. One-quarter cup of Tears

5. A teaspoon of Punctuality

6. At least 3 friends

7. A pinch of Suck-Up

8. 10 mg. of Anxiety Medication (optional)

Now stir until well mixed and bake for 4-5 years, 3 if you're feeling extra studious.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

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2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!