High school sweetheart still getting you down? BGR soulmate not pan out as you hoped? We have all been there and struggled in finding a solution to rejection, a broken heart, or both. In high school, the grieving process was long and drawn out, given that our alternative options for our next bae was probably your best friend's ex, or even worse, her brother. Getting over someone has the ability to cloud your thoughts and place you in a negative state of mind. Speaking from experience in post-breakup agony, it is difficult to maintain your strong self-confidence and morals while still keeping an open mind.     

So many times I see, not only my friends, but complete strangers get themselves into a rut after they have been hurt. Understandably, we all grieve in different ways. Whether your remedy is late night Friends episodes with your friends, Ben & Jerry, going to the gym to sweat out pent up frustrations, or the always-sounds-like-a-good-idea rebound. After a bit of experience, I have learned that while you are in a college environment, there is a formula to getting over that lost love.

Number 1: take some time   

Everyone has a different story to their heart break, and severity of the damage. With that considered, you might need more or less alone time to reflect. Problems with men or women cannot just be slipped under that tacky shag rug somewhere in your brain to worry about later. Take some time to sift out how you truly feel, identify it, and learn from the experience. Our mamas told us to learn from our mistakes, and if they aren't right, then I don't know who is. Spend some time at the gym, eat healthy, focus on your classes, and surround yourself with positive people. Feeling good on the inside starts with taking care of your health.  

Number 2: know what you want      

This is a short step, but sometimes it is the hardest. In some cases, you might want to continue on your health and comfort kick by just focusing on the most important things. Other times, step number 1 proves helpful in preparing you, in the wise words of Jay-Z, to move "On to the Next One." For this, take your time and know what you are truly ready for. If you need more time, just do your thing. If you think you are ready to start meeting the hunnies again, more power to you.    

Number 3: rebounding is not always the answer      

Although having been rumored to be fool-proof, the rebound is nothing but a distraction for those who don't know what they want. Do you want to be hurt again? No. Do you want to unload all your heavy emotional baggage on the next innocent that comes along? I hope not. Many of us face the challenge of managing past trust issues or problems in keeping them in the past. We all have either been there, or know someone who has struggled with moving on to a successful relationship because of previous unresolved trust issues. If this is you, go back to #1 and search your soul, again, because you have clearly jumped the gun. 

My soccer coach never said it better when he said, "prepare to win, but don't expect to win." You can't fight this uphill battle of collegiate love empty handed. Think of each positive and negative you have experienced in any type of relationship, and use it as a sword to fight off the haters. We learn something new each time around, whether it's what we like or dislike, or simply a way to do it better. Use this knowledge as a reference guide for preventing more negative experiences. Instead of having your friends find someone to be your next shacker, focus on the three main objectives: 

-- Don't be a repeat offender, learn from your past.

-- Get to know new people on a plutonic level first. 

-- Maintain a confident sense of self and never settle for less than you deserve.     

College is about getting the grades to graduate and having fun. We are supposed to make mistakes and learn from them, and turn them into little bits of wisdom. If you cannot learn from the nitty-gritty and decide to hold on to all the wrongdoings, then Ben & Jerry might finally be able to resign as your therapists.    

Number 4: rinse and repeat   

Use caution, though. You may think you have had so many failed relationships that, wow, you must be some sort of expert by now; you are not. Don't get cocky.    

So there is my two cents on how to not be miserable when you are young and beautiful. There is plenty of time to be unhappy later in life. Now is not the time.