Every chapter decides who they bid a little differently, but they all have one thing in common: pros and cons. Pros and cons all depend on the individual sorority and the current members, what they value and what they are looking for in a potential new member. However, one con that I’ve heard across the board is, “She’s in it for the wrong reasons.” I hate this.

Through the recruitment lens, people are divided into three categories: the yes-joiners, maybe-joiners, and no-joiners. The yes-joiners are people who knew they wanted to go Greek for as long as they could remember, the maybe-joiners are people who are on the fence, and the no-joiners are people who have sworn against fraternities and sororities (for the record, most no-joiners are actually maybe-joiners who haven’t gotten a solid taste of Greek life yet). The maybe-joiners are always the largest group, by far.

I was a yes-joiner. When I looked at colleges, of course, I looked at their academic credentials, but I also looked at their Greek communities. No, I wasn’t looking at who was “top-tier” and who mixed with the best frats. I was looking at the campus policies were against hazing, their values, and their philanthropies, trying to find out if any really resonated with me. I was simply doing research on something I was interested in. This, however, could have been seen as a major con for me.

You see, the majority of active members in a sorority or fraternity will typically consist of maybe-joiners. These people weren’t sure if they wanted to go Greek or just went to recruitment on a whim, not really knowing what they were getting themselves into. They didn’t do any research — and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that!

For those of you who aren’t Greek, this might be going over your head, so let me break it down. The so-called “right reasons” to join a sorority are the things that we all talk about when we defend Greek life. I’m talking about the sisterhood, giving back to the community, being a part of something bigger than yourself. Now, don’t get me wrong, all of these are among the things that I value most about my organization and they are most definitely amazing reasons to want to go Greek. They aren’t the only reasons people might want to wear the same letters as you.

As a potential new member, one of the main reasons I wanted to join a sorority was for the networking. I truly valued (and still value) making connections with others that will benefit both you and them in the long run. I wanted to create a web of people I knew I could count on to hold out their hands for me when I was facing the scary world of being a postgrad. That was my reason. To some, actually probably a lot, this is an example of a “wrong reason.” This isn’t the type of reason that makes actives fall in love with a girl at recruitment, that makes everyone feel all warm and fuzzy. However, it was what made me want to go out in the first place.

Without this reason, I probably wouldn’t have gone out to recruitment. I had tons of friends who were telling me not to at the time, but I had a goal and that was what motivated me. Without this reason, who knows if I ever would have gone Greek. Maybe the stereotypical “right reasons” weren’t what pushed me out in the first place, but they were all things that I gained along the way and, now, they are the things I value most. To be honest, networking is one of the biggest professional aspects of Greek life.

So yeah, there might be a girl who’s trying to join a sorority because she wants to party and she thinks she’ll get the hottest guys this way. These are wrong reasons. There also might be a girl who’s not at recruitment for the same reasons you were. It might be easy to write this girl off as in it for the wrong reasons, but take a hard look at her reasons. Maybe they’re not the same as yours, but are they genuine? Are they something she’ll actually be able to achieve as an active member?

If the answers are yes, if this girl is a good person that you can see growing in your chapter and falling in love with all the things that made you want to rush, do her and your chapter a favor: don’t say she’s in it for the wrong reasons.