This article is all about what makes Enid, Oklahoma a terrible place to work, raise children, and attend school. It's completely serious and not at all a joke. At all.
1. It's too small.
Enid is only the 9th largest city in Oklahoma, a state with 597 incorporated municipalities (cities and towns). The population is only just over 50,000; there's no way that enough folks to keep a diverse friend group or to find some great kids for your kids to be friends with. No way.
2. No one important is from there.
If you ignore the fact that Enid is the hometown of Leona Mitchell (a Grammy Award-winning opera singer), Owen K. Garriot (astronaut), Stephen Jones (accomplished attorney who represented OKC bomber Timothy McVeigh), Todd Lamb (Lt. Governor of Oklahoma), Yahweh Ben Yahweh (Founder, Nation of Yahweh), Thad and Trent Luckinbill (award-winning executive producers of 2016 blockbuster La La Land), and myself, literally no one notable is from this city.
3. There's nothing for you (or your kids) to do.
Enid is such an empty city. Honestly, if you choose to forget about all the shopping, dining, parks, local theaters, and museums, there's nothing else there! And as far as the kids go, they might as well just stay home and watch TV, because what's so great about a water park, roller rink, movie theater, bowling alley, children's museum and adventure center, and parks with lakes? Nothing, that's what. How boring.
4. It's ugly.
Have you looked at photos of this city? Atrocious. See for yourself.
5. Main Street Enid is boring.
Enid's town square is literally the worst. They have this terrible thing called "First Friday" where on the first Friday of each month, the stores on the square are open later and there is often live music and discounts around the square. Add to that the shopping selection (terrible), the dining (horrendous), and the celebrations that happen around Thanksgiving and Christmastime, it's easy to see why downtown Enid is the worst.
6. The dining scene is dismal
Speaking of dining, Enid is like a nightmare for foodies. If you're looking for cuisine besides Mexican, Italian, American, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, contemporary, formal, casual, catering, fast food, delis, pubs, Continental, Thai, Chinese, coffee, diners, Hibachi, snocones, barbecue, buffets, seafood, sandwiches, Greek, bakeries, and donut places, then you're out of luck.
7. The city isn't patriotic.
Not counting the multiple fireworks displays that the city puts on to celebrate the 4th of July, the city isn't very celebratory of America or its military. Don't think about how Enid is the home of Vance Air Force Base, a flying training wing of the US Air Force. Nevermind that the base has an economic impact on the city and its surrounding areas of about $220 million and is Enid's largest employer. Just because Vance has 2,600 military and civilian personnel, most of which live in Enid, it doesn't mean the city actually supports the military... That's absurd.
8. It's just a horrible place.
Basically, Enid is just a terrible place to work and raise a family. It's an awful place with too few people and a very ugly municipality. It is an unsupportive community and nothing good comes out of it. Stay away.
I'd like to thank my family for helping me write this, who are all here because my father was stationed at Vance Air Force Base, and who have remained in this city well past his retirement for 20 years.
