If you're like me, you're pretty peeved off that Hillary Clinton, a woman, is one of the two presidential candidates for the upcoming election. I don't know about any of you, but I, personally, would never vote for a female presidential candidate. In fact, I don't think women should even be allowed to run for president in the first place! Women are far too incompetent for the job — for a number of reasons! There are just certain things about women that make them too unqualified — like periods, feminazis, and hormones to name a few. Read on for more reasons why women should never be allowed to run for president.
1. What if she gets her period and like, tries to start a nuclear war?
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Because men definitely haven't already tried that... (Cough, cough, Truman...)
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2. Women only make up 50.8 percent of the population... What about MEN's voices?!
What about that 49.2 percent: MEN?! I'm sick of hearing women's opinions! I want to hear a man's two cents for a change — because women only have one cent to give. Ha, ha. Just kidding, the pay gap isn't real!
3. Hormones!
Everyone knows that all women are crazy! They have all of those weird hormones that make them act insane all the time. Men DEFINITELY don't have hormones, which is why they are so much better suited to be president.
4. Why change history?
Men have run this country since the beginning and absolutely nothing has gone wrong during that time, so why change a good thing?!
5. What if she tries to focus on stupid, unimportant "issues" like "women's rights?"
Ha, ha. Women's rights, what a joke! The only right women should have is the right to cook their husbands dinner, am I right fellas?
6. We don't want an UGLY woman for president!
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Sorry, but America just doesn't want a female president, especially if she isn't visually pleasing doesn't look like a Playboy model. Unlike every devastatingly handsome president we've had in the past — I'm lookin' at you, Martin Van Buren — a female president's number-one priority would have to be her appearance, obviously.
7. What if she's a femiNAZI?!
All of these damn feminazis just want to try take away MEN'S RIGHTS, or, even worse, our guns! Everyone knows that all feminazis hate men and want to take over the world. Electing one as president could lead to unspeakable disasters! Why don't we focus on more important things, like meninism?!
8. Women can already vote AND work. Isn't that enough?!
Women are already making 79 cents for each dollar that men make, and they can now legally vote. If you ask me, they should really only be making 50 cents, anyway. Why give them even more power?! It'll only go to their heads. Men are the only gender capable of gracefully handling power without losing their heads about it — Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin, to give a few gleaming examples.
So, you see, America doesn't need a female president. In fact, women shouldn't even be allowed to run at all! With things like periods and hormones clouding their judgment, women are just too crazy for the job — making them entirely incapable of running this country. All of these women should just be happy they're allowed to vote and work (for a fraction of what men make), stop complaining about everything, and smile— leave men to do all of the heavy thinking and decision-making.
