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5 Reasons Why Watching Porn Is Acceptable

Watch it while you do it!

Christine Russell

Dec 19, 2017

Ursinus College

4128

5 Reasons Why Watching Porn Is Acceptable

Pexels

Most people have this weird thing about ... Dun dun dun... PORN! It will not hurt you or kill you. I mean, it might do a lot of other things, but porn is not as big of a deal as most people make it out to be. Sorry, Mom and Dad, if I embarrass you on this one.

1. It gives you ideas.

The same original and ordinary sex gets boring after awhile. There is so much porn out there to watch and get ideas from. Shit, while you and your partner are having sex watch it and do what the porn stars are doing.

2. Sometimes it is better than the real thing.

Sometimes we want to put on heels and sexy lingerie. We want to talk dirty and be naughty for our man, but some nights we have the urge, but we don't want to put the effort in.

3. It relieves stress.

Just like sex; watching porn reduces stress. Perfect thing to watch after a long stressful day at work.

4. Taboo.

You do not think you are going to like something until you see it. Porn comes with categories: orgy, slaves and masters, blowjobs, lesbian, teen, old, interracial, and tag team. How do you know unless you watch?

5. Porn is hilarious

It is just funny sometimes. How did the director come up with this plot line?

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Everyone has insecurities, that's just a fact. You didn't ask to be born this way. You didn't ask to inherit the one trait no one else in your family has. And you definitely didn't ask to be this ghostly white. But as soon as you've learned to live with it for a while (less wrinkles later on in life, right? right???) someone has to ruin it for you. They have to flaunt they're perfectly tanned body from Spring Break and hold their sun-kissed skin against yours. But I've had enough... here are the things that perpetually pale individuals are tired of hearing.

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5 Reasons Why Watching Porn Is Acceptable

Watch it while you do it!

1. It gives you ideas.

2. Sometimes it is better than the real thing.

3. It relieves stress.

4. Taboo.

5. Porn is hilarious

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!