Divorce is something that takes time to heal from for both the parents and the children. While parents may be relieved that they don't have to be with their ex anymore, children may face a lot of psychological distraught. I was devastated when my parents divorced. It broke my heart that I wouldn't be able to see my dad every night after he got home from work. I felt the tears consistently run down my cheeks when my parents would fight.
I just wanted to cry some more and dump another bucket of tear injections in my eyes so I could have the capacity to cry after that -especially after watching my role models cry in front of me. As a child, it was emotionally draining to have to listen to people asking you about your parents' divorce (do you know why your parents divorced, how is your mom doing), especially since my parents never gave me all the details of it. It felt lonely to see friends who would brag about their parents taking them on vacation, while the only thing I thought was that my parents couldn't be in the same room as each other without fighting.
After 10 years, it is weird to say, but I am grateful that both of my parents are living happier lives than they had when they were together. As children, divorce takes a tremendous toll on our lives in order to recover and to get readjusted to a lifestyle in which we don't come home to see our parents sitting on the living room couch together. If you are a child of divorce, I encourage you to keep considering your family's situation. It is okay to be upset, happy or confused by your family's situation. But as you have these conflicting emotional moments, here are a few reasons why you should be grateful for their divorce:
1. Now, you get to have more personal time with each of your parents.
Now you get to truly know your mom as an individual rather than the wife to your dad. You get to realize how strong your dad really is when he has to step in caring for you on his own (making your meals, taking you to school, and working from 8-8 every day) vice versa if you mom is now taking up this role. Super parents! But you get to also realize that your parents have tremendous weaknesses they aren't proud of.
2. You get to live in two different areas.
Maybe your mom lives in New York and your dad lives in Los Angeles. You can now tell your college friends that you do not have one hometown, but two.
3. You get to have two homes.
And you get to say you have a few homes. All the kids at school will think you are rich. Talk about a bragger, right?
4. And on your birthday, you can celebrate it twice as much.
Parents want an excuse to eat cake just as much as you. Accept the reality of the situation and eat the cake.
5. And on the holidays, you can get twice as many presents.
You must not say "no" to this.
6. And celebrate the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Valentine's Day) twice as much.
7. I am proud they have moved on (or for some, your parents are starting to move on).
Change can be a bit unsettling especially when it comes to getting out of a marriage.
8. The fighting has cooled down.
If there is one thing that feels worst than not having your parents together is hearing them fight.
9. But I learned that my parents don't need each other to be strong.
Independence is stronger.
10. And just because they are divorced, doesn't mean they love me any less.
11. In fact, now they have more time as individuals to prove their love to me.
12. As I now have more independence to prove my love to them.
