From a small loan of a million dollars, to The Apprentice, and now to the race for the White House, Donald Trump has made a name for himself. Many of his followers like him because he openly speaks his mind, which is something you come to admire in a world full of people who sugar coat things just to get on the ballot. Donald Trump presents himself professionally, and will no doubt cater perfectly to the American people. America will be great again, and here are things Trump has said, which makes him exactly the person to do it!.

“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”

Women just absolutely love to be treated like trophies, and Donald makes sure to treat them as such glorious possessions! Of course, every great man has even greater women behind him. And of course the power of them is determined by beauty. What else could you measure power with? Brains?!

Donald is also pro-life, which means he’s pro-refugee, pro-everyone needs to make a living right? Such a great guy for the people.

“I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border…”

Donald Trump loves The Wall, and so do many Americans! It’s a great Pink Floyd album. I’m sure he’s listens to it and fully gets all of it’s messages, and I’ll bet he builds Lego walls while he listens to it! He loves it so much, he wants to build one around America! What a great way to celebrate a great album, and set of toys the so many people have enjoyed.

He also loves immigration. He’ll probably put billboards up on top of his wall to welcome they all in! Going back to the times when all of our ancestors immigrated here for a better life! What better way to celebrate America than opening our doors for immigration and offering the life we had originally sought out when we came here.

“It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”

Who needs global warming when you can get a spray tan? Not Donald! Perfectly orange and ignorant in every way.

“An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud"

We absolutely know he’s getting all the best information, how else would he have known Obama’s birth certificate was fake?! Plus, he knows how to shut off the internet entirely. He’s so smart, he even wanted to create Trump University to help educate people!

“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”

He knows just the way to spend and make money, just look at all of his casinos! Everyone hits the jackpot and shit hits the fan.

“Out of hundreds of deals that I’ve done, hundreds, on four occasions I’ve taken advantage of the laws of this country, like other people.”

From his casinos to the vodka to the university, he sure knows how to make money! There’s no doubt he’ll take all of his great ideas and implement them to help America make money!

There really is no contest in deciding who should be the next President of the United States. Donald Trump is looking out for everyone's best interest, and we can totally trust him to make everything just peachy again.