I LOVE DOGS. OK, they are great. I don’t know why God just stopped creating things when he got to dogs. There is a reason "dog" spelled backward is "god."

A dog’s love is as close to unconditional as it gets. They love you so much, they want to be in the bathroom with you when you poop. They act like they haven’t seen you in 20 years when you come home. Now that y’all know how much I love dogs, this is why I should have one (please, mom and dad).

1. I know all that goes into having a dog

So many people get dogs, then realize dogs are actually a lot of work and expensive. You have to feed it, give it water, walk it, take it to the bathroom when it has to go even if it’s super inconvenient. When it gets into something it shouldn’t, a trip to the vet costs a small fortune.

Being a responsible dog owner is no joke. But, we have two at home and one is broken, and that broken one happens to be mine. I’m her service human. I can totally take care of a not-broken dog at school.

2. Pets teach responsibility.

Okay, so you can’t just hand off a pet to just anyone, but I think I’m responsible enough to have a dog but not responsible enough to not benefit from having a dog. The dog will be 150% taken care of and loved, but I’ve never taken care of anything besides myself. No one is ever ready to have a baby, but when they do, they either step up to the plate or child services takes away their kid. Likewise, you’re never ready to have a dog, but when you get a dog, you get it together and take care of it, or you get arrested for neglect.

3. I have a job

I’m not tryna buy from a breeder, I want a shelter dog. When you adopt from the shelter they usually spay/neuter and give the doggo its shots before you adopt it.

The adoption fee is somewhere between $25-$100 and it’ll have all of its shots and stuff. I can pay for its food and everything with the money I don’t spend at the bars.

4. It’ll protect

Even our pomeranian protects (or tries to). There are a lot of shady people in the world. I need a good doggo to protect me from the bad people. A dog is much easier to get than a gun and honestly, I’d rather have a fur bullet. I already have my barely legal (yes, it’s legal but barely) pepper spray, and if I had a dog I’d be all safe. You’ll never have to worry about me jogging alone again.

5. Just think of the doggos…

Just think of all the doggos that aren’t loved. They’re sitting in a shelter somewhere on a cold concrete floor just waiting to be loved. Sometimes the only humans they’ve ever known abused them.

They deserve to be loved. If I adopted a doggo, that means there’s a spot open in the shelter for another dog. It kills me to think there are dogs that don’t get loves when it thunders.

6. It’ll be the best dog at home

I will make sure my dog is the goodest good dog ever. My dog won’t tear up the house and will behave. I promise. Romeo will have a buddy that’s not paralyzed and Juliette won’t have to worry about Romeo bothering her. Everyone wins.

7. Honestly though, what more?

I know that having a dog isn’t always glamorous and I’m prepared to pick up poop and stuff. I already take care of a paraplegic pomeranian at home. Dogs teach responsibility. I’m already responsible enough to have a job.

It’ll keep me safe, and I’ll keep it safe. I’m much more responsible than I was freshman and sophomore year. I can handle a dog. Please let me adopt a dog.