In today's day and age, being gay is the big thing to be. Anybody who is anybody is gay these days! Neil Patrick Harris, Wanda Sykes — and who could forget Sir Elton John? There's always conspiracies and possibilities that so-and-so is secretly gay. For God's sake, everyone thinks Tom Cruise is gay! He must love all that publicity and attention! So for any of you who think being gay, bisexual, lesbian, trans, non-binary or anything else on the list, is an actual choice, here is why I chose to be gay.

1. New Nicknames

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I go by Zack instead of my full name, Zackary. However, being gay gives you a bunch of nifty new nicknames! Middle and high school were a whole new discovery of these nicknames. Fag or faggot being everyone's favorite. I am not the British version of a cigarette (aka. a fag), fudge-packer, butt-pirate, or or any of the other great names from eighth grade. Ask any fellow member of the LGBT+ community, and you will surely see how much we love these nicknames. All the straights just wish they could be called these names!

2. All the attention

Coming out is no easy task. But since we all choose to be gay, it's the inevitable, right? For some reason, when somebody comes out there is a ton of buzz that spreads like wildfire. I came out to a few friends one morning and by the last period of school, everybody knew; including teachers. Of course, I do this all for attention. What can I say? It's great to know that your entire identity has just been completely destroyed.

3. All the politics relate to me

For some reason, all the people running this country are getting paid with your tax dollars to determine the rights of my community as if we are sub-human. Currently, the big debate is whether transgender people can use the bathroom they feel most comfortable using or not. This will relate to my next point, but I digress. I love having my rights decided by people who have never met me. The fact that I want to marry a guy is apparently a big deal in this religious-based nation of ours. I am a Christian, and if I want to get married to a guy, I don't see how someone else is affected unless they pay the bill. Nonetheless, being the subject of such controversy and hearing everybody's opinions on Facebook 24/7 is just peachy.

4. Apparently, I am capable of pure evil!

Naturally, because I am a homosexual, I am also a sexual predator. I mean obviously, right? I have a disease (that I apparently have chosen) that causes me to prey upon small children. I have had parents uncomfortable with their child being in the same room as me. Let's not forget what makes me happy every morning when I wake up: I am capable of destroying the sanctity of marriage. It empowers me knowing that my loving of another man is apparently solely enough to destroy a marriage. Just remember, I most likely have HIV/AIDS, because I'm gay. Even if I haven't come into contact with it. How fun!

5. Eternal Damnation

I really can only tolerate Ohio winters for about a month before I really don't like the cold. However, I have a destined spot in the pits of hell where I will never have to worry about being cold again! After all, the Bible says Adam and Eve; not Adam and Steve. I have been told by many that God hates me, His own creation.

So I guess I better bring some tank tops so I don't get too hot since apparently I belong somewhere where most believe Saddam and Hitler ended up just because I love a man.

I hate to live in a society that doesn't fully accept me. Everyone's perception of you changes when you come out. I an perfectly fine with myself. Many seem to forget this crucial part of Christianity:

Nobody actually chooses to be gay and if you think that, sorry ... you are dead wrong. I would not choose to be called names, bullied, and be told I am going to Hell. Instead of throwing verses in my face or trying to change me, why don't you try loving me for who I am? That's a novel idea! I believe the golden rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" fits perfectly here. I might as well get back to destroying marriages!