We all have little quirks or mannerisms that we simply cannot stand for. In the same way, we all exhibit quirks and mannerisms that other can’t stand about us. I, personally, am perfectly aware of how obnoxious I can be, and I know which habits of mine really bother which friends I spend time with. So, I can’t find very much to complain about when it comes to other people bothering me. I’m not a fan of letting myself be hypocritical.
That is not to say that I don’t have “pet peeves,” because I most certainly do. I only introduce this topic with that because the pet peeves that I do have should honestly be universal. Before you start yelling at me about respecting differences in opinions, hear me out.
Life is really weird and really difficult. We often avoid performing our various daily obligations and responsibilities because it would just make things a little easier. We get really frustrated when other people don’t grant us the same leniency that we grant ourselves.
For example:
That person with eleven items in the ten items or less express check-out; the jerk who cut you off because they were in a hurry; the customer who forgot to give you a tip; the person who didn’t say hello back this morning; the mom with the screaming baby sitting next to you on the bus; etc.
This bothersome encounters we experience on a daily or weekly basis frustrate us and even sometimes ruin our day completely. However, if the tables are turned, we get just as frustrated with the people who are frustrated with us! In short, my pet peeves all involve our fellow members of the human race that apparently never fully grasped the concept of “the golden rule.” So let’s dive in, shall we?
1. Highway Driving with your Brights on:
Few things grind my gears like driving on the highway at night with moderate traffic and someone decides they need enough light to see through time and space! It’s so disrespectful to other drivers on the road!
Like, look, I’m really glad you can see every bug and scratch on the back of my car with those lights on, Susan, but for goodness’ sake! You are blinding me! This highway is well-lit! You do not need the power of Zeus himself to find your way through this very straight, clear, dry, and moderately crowded freeway! Please just use your headlights! I am scared that I will crash because the power of the SUN which you have somehow harnessed and stored for your own personal use HAS DISINTEGRATED MY CORNEAS.
2. Belittling Others for their Emotions:
Wow, these kinds of people make me all kinds of furious. And they should make you mad too. When you make someone feel guilty for expressing their emotions, you’re basically getting mad at them for BEING A HUMAN BEING. Literally, our ability to have and express individual thoughts and feelings is what separates us from most members of the animal kingdom. In fact, because of the stupid stigma behind being emotional and how that somehow makes us “weaker,” some species are probably more skilled in expressing emotion than we have become.
Dogs, for example, are basically unconditional love wrapped in a delightful little furry, smelly, package. Other dogs don’t make them feel bad for getting excited to see their humanity. Other dogs don’t start rumors or imply that a dog is not a dog because it loves to cuddle and is not afraid to show it.
Are we really okay with the fact an animal that sometimes literally eats its own excretions (and often the excretions of other animals too) is more capable of emotional expression than we are? I mean come on, guys.
Not to mention, there is nothing in this world you could possibly use or obtain that will make it okay or excusable for you to tell someone else how they really feel or how they should feel. You have no right or reason to do that.
Don’t even get me started on the Mental Illness side of this debate (which isn’t a debate because it shouldn’t be). But hey I’m already started on it anyway...too late.
You will never, ever know what it is like in someone else’s mind. You will never fully understand the depth of their pain. Even if you suffer from something similar, or you think you know the cause of their struggles, you have no right to ever imply that they are faking or that you obviously have it worse off than they do.
Stop hating on people because you perceive them as weaker or more dramatic than you. Even if that’s what you really think of that person, it’s not your place to tell them what you think they’re doing wrong. That just hurts them worse... and makes them hate you a little bit.... just being honest.
3. Making Fun of Something Other People Love (just to bother them)
If you think I’m talking about you, I might be. HA! This one doesn’t awaken the fires of an angry dragon within me as much as the others do, but it’s still one I feel I should mention. We all have a little bit of nerd inside of us—meaning we get super passionate about different things. Even if your thing is sports, knowing all those players names and statistics make you a sports nerd.
Nerd, as the delightful “brothers Green” explain, is just a word used to imply that you really like stuff. And knowing that there are things you really really love, like that one particular player, or that one movie, or that one book series, or what have you, why would you go out of your way to push things too far with someone about something they’re passionate about?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it’s not okay to make jokes. Heck, most of the stuff I obsess over has gotten me nothing but grief (hilarious grief, but grief all the same). I only mean that taking it to the point where you have genuinely offended a person because you have implied that they are stupid for liking something so stupid.
Just think for one gosh darn second if it would make you angry to hear someone talk about something you really love as if the thing you love is equivalent to an obsession with the ideas of Third Reich radicals.
Make the jokes. Go ahead. Say ridiculous, obviously untrue things like: “Nicholas Cage is a good actor! He’s better than Gary Oldman!” “Paul McCartney’s younger brother, Jessie McCartney is the best Beatle.”
Like... I mean wow. That’s so laughable. But that’s all in jest!
Taking it too far is when you text someone jokingly that their IDOL has died, and then laugh while they cry. Too far is when you openly mock and/or damage the memorabilia associated with the thing they love because you think it will be funny to see them get upset over something so dumb.
TOO FAR is making fun of them when one of their idols really does die and you saying something insensitive like “You didn’t even know them in real life. What’s wrong with you? Why are you so upset.”
Just DON’T DO IT, MKAY?
4. GETTING FREAKED OUT ABOUT A FEMALE MENTIONING MENSTRUATION
Even more than the headlights, even more than the cruel jokes at the expense of others....this. PISSES. ME. OFF.
This is probably the most controversial of my pet peeves. But, again, I implore you to hear me out.
No, menstruation is not a pleasant topic—and it sure as heck isn’t a pleasant experience. But it’s natural. It’s a necessary process the female body has to go through. And we are SHAMED for it! Our opinions and thoughts are slighted and ignored simply because we might be “hormonal.”
Well, guess what. That copious amount of testosterone that guys are so proud of...that’s also a hormone...and too much of it can affect your judgment in far more dangerous ways than estrogen.
A woman’s monthly cycle is not contagious, guys. Honestly, it’s not going to hurt you. And it’s certainly not like we’re going to shove used feminine products in your face.
To help you stop being complete JERKS about it, think of a woman’s period like a broken bone. Would you act disgusted if she has a broken ankle? Would you avoid her like the plague and make her feel like a monster because something COMPLETELY OUT OF HER CONTROL happened and caused her to be temporarily incapacitated? I would hope not.
My point with this one is simple: Please get over it, okay? It’s bad enough we feel sick and gross, and emotional, and that we have to deal with it EVERY MONTH. We don’t need anyone to feed the stigma by treating the topic like someone just suggested that you participate in a real-life version of the “Human Centipede.”
5. “HOW RUDE!”
This one sort of sums up the others, while also expanding to include the general problem with people acting entitled and disrespectful to the people around them.
My one request is that we all HESITATE before saying something potentially hurtful. I’m not talking about excessive censorship hiding under the guise of “political correctness.” I’m talking about ignoring the tiny voice at the back of your mind telling you to reconsider voicing your thoughts. Sometimes you have to speak out about something you perceive to be wrong. However, there are some topics that just don’t fall into that category:
Ie. “Crimes” of fashion, promoting or excusing racism or sexism, how someone else is raising their children, how someone else is doing their job, how someone decides to treat their mental illness, etc.
There’s no reason for you to give unwanted advice or criticism. It. Is. Not. Your. Job.
It’s about exuding that all of uncommon “common sense.” If it’s accidental, then apologize. If you feel really strongly about a topic and then realize it was really ignorant of you to speak that way without having all the facts, own up to it and move on! We talk about how people are so easily offended these days, and that’s true.
People get so offended when you tell them that you’re not okay with something they said. If something you said or a joke you made upset someone and they approach you about it respectfully, respond respectfully.
Even if you don’t get why the joke upset them, just respect that for whatever reason, it did upset them. Try to censor yourself around that specific person. And if a LOT of people approach you that same way, then maybe you should take the hint and stop being a jerk. Okay, that was a little harsh....but seriously stop being rude because someone called you out for being insensitive.
Would you like it if someone did any of these things to you? Probably your answer is no. (If it’s not then I applaud you for your tolerance level...) Treat your fellow human beings with the same respect and leniency that you do with yourself. It’s really not that difficult. I mean grade school kids get it...why can’t we?
I feel that I should add a disclaimer here. I am by no means trying to imply that my opinion is the only valid opinion. If you want to have a discussion about why you agree or disagree, I’m all for it! Send me a message! Comment on this post!
