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Realistic New Year's Resolutions

No, this is not about working out.

Tabitha Hushon

Jan 06, 2017

Millersville University of Pennsylvania

Her Campus

Every New Year's after midnight, I scroll through my social media to find photos of couples kissing at midnight or my super single friends kissing their drink instead. The next day, I scroll through seeing everyone announcing or starting their New Year's Resolutions. Gyms are full, detoxes are started, kitchens are cleaned out, money is budgeted, cigarettes are thrown out, plans are made to travel the world, etc. I give a huge round of applause to those who continue these resolutions through January; that's very rare. I give a high five to those who carry those resolutions through the rest of the year and maybe through the rest of their life. But let me be real here: MOST people do not even make it out of January with their resolutions because it's too much commitment or they were completely unrealistic in the first place. I'm here to help solve that problem. Below is a list of more achievable, realistic (and some are even quite amusing) New Year's Resolutions! Enjoy :)

1. Fill your gas tank the entire way up.

$15-20 tank fillers, this is for you.

2. Don't stalk your favorite celebrity on social media.

Yes I know it's tempting... So set the resolution to resisting at least twice.

3. Put your clothes in the dirty clothes basket...

THE SECOND YOU TAKE THEM OFF.

4. Write 2017 instead of 2016 on your papers.

Don't be that person stuck in the past. (;

5. Stop picking your nose.

People can see you. Stop that.

6. Come up with better excuses when you're "not available".

Everyone is starting to see right through you. Your Aunt Lorain can't die and come back to life THAT many times.

7. Use less filters on your selfies.

Yes basic white girl, I'm talking to you. We all know you don't actually look like that in person.

8. Recycle

Seriously, it's not that hard to have a separate bin to put recyclables in. Take that extra step at the coffee shop and put your paper in the recycling bin, you jack wagon.

9. Figure out why you still have so many email addresses.

You need one... two TOPS.

10. Keep your drama off of social media (PLEASE).

Subtweeting about your boyfriend is obvious and petty. Knock that off.

11. USE YOUR BLINKER.

Also, make sure to replace your blinker fluid often. :)

12. Chew with your mouth closed.

I promise, it drives people NUTS.

13. Don't talk on the phone when you're checking out.

It's rude, and I'm not sure why half of the population hasn't figured that out yet.

14. Pet more animals!

I see this everywhere and couldn't resist. And it's very therapeutic.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Realistic New Year's Resolutions

No, this is not about working out.

1. Fill your gas tank the entire way up.

2. Don't stalk your favorite celebrity on social media.

3. Put your clothes in the dirty clothes basket...

4. Write 2017 instead of 2016 on your papers.

5. Stop picking your nose.

6. Come up with better excuses when you're "not available".

7. Use less filters on your selfies.

8. Recycle

9. Figure out why you still have so many email addresses.

10. Keep your drama off of social media (PLEASE).

11. USE YOUR BLINKER.

12. Chew with your mouth closed.

13. Don't talk on the phone when you're checking out.

14. Pet more animals!

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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