Yesterday, I was at work talking to one of my friends and we were talking about video games. We were just talking about our favorite video games growing up and how much video games have changed since we were younger. Then I mentioned that one of my favorite video games as a kid was Resident Evil 4. Then he said, “Oh the Resident Evil video games were cool, but the movies sucked ass”.

When he said that, I was so close from crying of joy. My whole life I thought I was the only one that hated those damn Resident Evil movies. Everyone I knew growing up was always like “Man did you see that new Resident Evil movie, that movie was so cool!”.

Then I was always the one to stay out of the conversation because I didn’t want to seem like the odd ball for not liking any of them. Now I know some people might be saying “But Derrick, the Resident Evil movies were great, why do you hate them so much”? Well I’m glad you asked me that stupid fan boy because I’ll be glad to answer your question. Here are my reasons for not liking the Resident Evil movies.

• The action was so mediocre
• They ruined the characters from the game!
• Alice!

Now it’s bad enough the films had completely fucked up the story but I use to say, “You know what, just give me some good action sequences and I’ll be satisfied”. But do they do that? No! I’ll admit there are a few action scenes in the movies that were pretty cool, but for the most part the action in those films were so damn cheesy. Like come, are you serious? I’ve seen better action scenes in TV movies than that crap.

Instead of zombie film franchise it seemed they were trying too hard to make it seem like it was The Matrix. Hell I was just waiting for Morpheus to come out of no where and say, “Alice, take the red pill or the blue pill”. I know you want to entertain people, but come on. Leave the flipping off walls and dodging bullets crap for Keanu Reeves okay?

I took a lot of pain in my life: losing my dog, death of a family member, and watching the Amazing Spider-man movie. But to see what Hollywood did to some of the best characters in the Resident Evil games was just too damn much for me.

Okay let’s start off what they did to Ada. In the video game she was one of the best characters to me. She was more of an anti hero in game because she worked with the evil organization Umbrella but she came in to help do the right thing when the time was right. In the movie she was so damn useless. She had one or two good moments then was like, “Okay I’m going to stand over here and act useless”. What!? The whole time watching her I was like, “Girl if you don’t get ya’ skinny ass over there and help kill some zombies”!

I also didn’t like what they did to Chris Redfield. I’m a fan of the actor that played him but he was just another character in the film that was kind of pointless to have.

Then there’s the main antagonist Albert Wesker. I don’t know how Hollywood made one of the best villains in the series look corny but goddammit they did it. Even Wesker’s voice didn’t sound intimidating like in the game. Listening to the Wesker in the movie talk I felt like someone was about to sell me a car at a dealership.

Last but not least there’s Leon Kennedy. First of all let me just say Leon is the reason why I even wanted to play the other Resident Evil games because he was such a bad-ass character in the 4^th one. But when they cast him in the movie, what does he look like? A drunk ass perverted Brad Pitt. It’s like come on Hollywood why are you killing me?

Look I’m all for having a bad ass female protagonist in a film, but why the hell did Hollywood choose Alice? I love the actress who played her because she is fine as hell but her character was so damn overrated. The Resident Evil movies used her the same way the X-Men movies used Wolverine, everything had to be centered around them. But at least Wolverine was actually a main character in the X-Men, Alice wasn’t even in the damn game!

Let’s not forget how they made her so powerful for no reason. Okay I get it, she had the T-virus and that’s what gave her some of her abilities. But damn did they have to make her look like she was a fucking superhero? Throughout the franchise this chick could do flips like Spider-man, shoot and dodge bullets like Neo, and bend fire like she was in Avatar. That’s right you heard me, in the 3^rd movie she bends fire! It’s like well damn if the T-virus could do all that how the hell is she getting beat up in the movie. I tried to like Alice, I really did but I’m sorry she was simply too much for me.