Hometowns: we’ve all got them. The same old streets, the familiar faces, the football games on Friday nights and the baseball games on Saturday mornings. The places you and your friends always hung out and the restaurants you always ate at.

Hometowns are tricky things. Almost everyone has hated theirs at some point. Being in the same small place for so many years can get old, and there are probably very few people out there who in their teenage years didn’t lay in their bed planning their escape into the great unknown, far away from the borders of their small town. And everything that’s become so achingly familiar.

People can easily come to resent the place where they grew up, and all the people who live in it. They see it as a cage, and if they just had the chance they’d leave and never look back. And some people do just that, only leaving a trail of dust from where their car drove away as fast as it could. And it’s not bad to leave; it’s not wrong to want to see something new and start over somewhere completely different. Sometimes it’s exactly what you need.

Sometimes it’s not, though. Sometimes you’ll see those people who were so desperate to escape coming back a few years down the road, back to that place they hated, settling down in a little white house and doing the things they swore they’d never do, in the place they swore they’d never return to. And the new kids who were just like them will look at them in disgust and shake their heads and wonder who on earth would come back here, and swear they’ll never do that.

Those people had all the best intentions of staying far away, I can tell you that. But they realized something that a lot of people never do: You can’t escape yourself.

Sometimes we spend so much of our time thinking of how much we want to escape, how we just want something new and different. We spend so much time blaming the places and people for our lack of opportunities and happiness and we convince ourselves that all we have to do is leave and all of our problems will disappear. But here’s the truth: they don’t. You’ll wake up in your new bed, in a new place, and you’ll realize that you’re still you and the change of scenery didn’t change that.

In fact, you can move everywhere around the world, you can live your dream life and do everything you’ve ever wanted and still be discontent. One day eventually you’re going to realize that you’ve been blaming places and people for your unhappiness when maybe it was you.

Now I’m not saying that you should stay in the same place forever. I’m not saying that wanting to leave your hometown is bad or wrong. I’m just saying that while you’re laying there in your bed, resenting a place, and planning all the ways you can get out, that you stop and ask yourself what you’re running from. Because chances are if you dig deep enough you’ll find out, and if you have the strength and determination to realize that thing and fix it, then you’ll be able to move past it and be content with yourself and your surroundings. Maybe you will leave your hometown, or maybe you won’t, but at least you’ll know that you’re not running from anything by staying or going.