Let me preface this article by saying that anyone who is young and in a serious relationship, I am happy for you, I do not judge you and to each their own.

That being said, love and relationships must stay 100 feet away from me at all times for an indefinite amount of time, no exceptions, thanks.

I know, I know, I’m a teenage girl and I just said I don’t want to date anyone? Craziness! But it’s absolutely true and I am sick of being judged for it or attempted to be persuaded otherwise. I totally get that some people are hopeless romantics. And that you can’t control who you are attracted to, or when you meet the right person, or who you fall in love with, but it drives me crazy to see how many college kids, high schoolers, even middle schoolers are obsessed with the idea of finding someone already in life. Our society puts an insane amount of pressure on the insanely young, to be constantly looking out for someone to date, even marry, fall in love with, whatever. All of the TV shows and movies we watch are different variations of love stories. 99% of the songs we hear on the radio are about love or attraction. We constantly ask teenagers “Who do you like? Who are you going to the dance with? Do you have a boyfriend?” We compare when our grandparents and parents first met, when they got married, and assume we should be the same way. We think stories of people who get married within weeks of meeting each other are “romantic.” We tell stories of first kisses happening at 11, 12, 13 years old and think these things are cute and normal. What we don’t think about is what message this is sending to the teenager who hasn’t had their first kiss, or even more shocking, maybe doesn’t want to?

One of my favorite quotes is “I’m not looking for my other half, because I am not a half.” I am 19 and I’m only going to be this young once. I probably will, one day, want to get married, have a family, whatever, but right now? I have homework. No seriously, I have a lot of homework and I take school very seriously. I study a lot and I never miss class and it shows in my grades, and I’m more proud of my high GPA than I would be of getting a boyfriend. I am also in two different clubs at school, I have a leadership position in one of them, I'm in over my head in things I love and couldn't be happier about it.

There is nothing wrong with me. I am not socially awkward, or secretly gay, or shy, or any of the other things you might assume about someone who is perpetually single. I’m independent and passionate and young and not interested in fitting yet another obligation into my schedule. I’m not interested in not being able to hang out in groups of friends because my significant other and I need to have our alone time as a couple. I’m not interested in having to coordinate schedules with someone if I want to go to a new movie or on a city trip spontaneously. I’m not ready to tie myself down to one person. I don’t like the idea of not being allowed to meet a new guy and not be able to get to know him for fear of how my boyfriend may react. And I want to be free to have crushes and be attracted to people without necessarily having to act on it, or push it away because I’ve already picked one person in this huge gorgeous world full of amazing people. I mean really, how am I supposed to just pick one right now? But if I had to, I pick me. I pick exploring my passions and freedom, all of the freedom I can get.

I am simply not interested. And I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I don’t need cliche couple pictures on instagram. I don’t need an “in a relationship” status on facebook so everyone can come see proof that someone out there likes me. You know what, a lot of people like me, and I like myself, and that’s all I need. I’m also honest enough with myself to know that I am not completely willing to open up to anyone entirely right now. There are things about myself, that a significant other should know, that I don’t want to tell anyone. And it’s fine because I’m not going to date anyone right now. None of this is a reaction to anything happening to me. I haven’t recently been spurned by anyone, and this isn’t me coping with the fact that no boys like me, because in all honesty, some do. Not a whole lot, but I get random messages and compliments and as much as they flatter me, they sometimes make me laugh because usually the person sending me these things doesn’t really know who they’re talking to. Sure, they know my name and what I look like but they don’t know me as a person and that takes a lot of time and trust and energy that I don’t currently have.

And that is the long explanation of why I, and all other young people, don’t need anyone right now. You are not incomplete or wrong or weird if you are this way. You are simply a unique and independent person with goals who doesn’t settle, and that is way better than any date someone could take you on.