The first time I realized that I didn't need to be treated like a door mat was while I was in London for a class. I was lucky enough to go with one of my best friends, and I had an amazing time. We spent every single moment with each other and I honestly had never felt such a close connection with a friend. While we were there, we would go out at night to local bars and just hang out together (it was legal, so why not?). We ended up having a lot of in depth conversations, and most of them would be related to what was going on in our lives at home. She would always be telling me how much I deserved to be treated well, how I was a good person despite what I would think, and how there would be someone one day who would treat me like a queen. I realized that I was engaging in some potentially destructive relationships, and that needed to change. I needed to accept that I was a better person than I believed.
The second time I came to this realization was sitting outside of my friend's apartment on a cold night. I was sobbing because a boy had done nothing but ignore me ever since things had ended between us, and I was realizing that he didn't really care about me. I had always told my friends that crying over a boy meant that he wasn't worth their time; now that I was the one crying over a boy, it seemed surreal. As I had two people trying to comfort me (them not very happy about the situation either), I realized that I had to listen to my own advice.
It wasn't fair that a boy had made me feel so upset that I had to cry my eyes out.
It wasn't fair that someone got to treat me so terribly.
No one has the right to treat people badly. Everyone deserves an explanation. Everyone deserves to feel worthy. Crying that night was just what I needed - I realized that it was wrong. I realized that I deserve someone who treated me as well as I treat them.
