Nicholas Sparks has set the standards for romance for decades now. If you expect your man to build you the house of your dreams with his own bare, beautiful, muscular hands, you might have seen The Notebook. If your dream present is a star named after you, you might have read A Walk to Remember. And if you think that a military relationship is as easy as a few letters and a couple of fights, you might have seen Dear John.
Dear John is a movie about a couple who knew each other for two weeks, fell in love, and then he got deployed overseas. The couple exchanged letters for a while, 'till they eventually die off. However, at the end of the movie, the stars align and in the closing scene we see them reconnect, and our hearts know they will be together forever. While this movie paints a beautiful picture of a military relationship, it could not be further off.
Military relationships are not glamorous. Military relationships are hard. Really, really hard. Military relationships are crossing days off of a calendar for months, and still knowing there are years left. Waking up in the middle of the night to your phone ringing and being oh-so-familiar with your partner's groggy voice, because time differences and work schedules aren't predictable.
Being in a military relationship is missing someone every minute of the day. It is not a few fights here and there, it is a fight every single day: a fight to keep something alive that is worth so much more than the distance. While you are missing your partner, you will have one emotion that is stronger than all of the others: pride. Being a military girlfriend is having your heart burst with pride every single day. While you listen to them tell you about how much they are missing home, you know that if they could, they would be there with you, but their selflessness and graciousness called them to do something so much bigger.
A Military relationship is saying "some day," "next time," and "goodbye" more than anyone should have to. It is having so many plans for the day they get out, that you aren't sure if there is enough time left in the world. It is keeping every note, remembering every moment, and cherishing every conversation you have.
Military relationships aren't as easy as you see on screen. They are hard work, every single day. For as hard as they are, you learn so much more about yourself in the time apart. You learn what you need to be happy, more importantly, you learn what you don't need but you thought that you did. Military relationships are patience, praying, and perseverance. It is not ending up together because the stars perfectly aligned by some chance of fate, it is ending up together because you fought every single day to keep your relationship alive and to make your own destiny.
And the one thing I know for sure about military relationships, is that they are 100%, without a doubt, worth it.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
