You’ve probably seen this type of article a lot. Around late summer, right when recently graduated seniors begin their college journey, people write about the undeclared major—emphasizing its importance in comparison to the business and engineering majors, and encouraging undecided students to own their uncertainty. Don’t get me wrong, I support this notion completely. I feel we put too much pressure on teenagers to have their life figured out at such a young age, especially when our prime time for development and change is during our college years. But in spite of this insistent promotion, it seems as though, in reality, the world is quite against this idea. Or maybe I just put too much pressure on myself. Either way, this is my experience with being an undeclared major, and one I feel people should be aware of.

The biggest thing I’ve experienced with being an undeclared major is feeling behind. My university is known for its engineering programs, ergo almost everyone I met was not only declared, but also planning on entering a profitable profession. This was weird for me. My whole life, I was used to being ahead, especially when involving homework for school. The fact that everyone else seemingly had their life put together (which they actually don’t, by the way) while I was trying to decide whether to suffer through three more Spanish classes JUST so I could get the minor was unsettling. Who am I if I’m not ahead? That was kind of my thing in school up until college. And I’m not going to lie, I felt a little embarrassed telling people I was undeclared. It felt as though I was wasting my potential and ambition.

Further emphasizing the sensation of “feeling behind” were all the opportunities I felt I was missing because I was an undeclared major. I couldn’t figure out my study abroad plans. It was extremely difficult to both look for and land internships.

“Well then Alex,” you’re probably asking, “why didn’t you just pick one and go with it?”

Because I was scared of picking the wrong one.

I didn’t want it to seem like I had taken a luxury in being an undeclared major. I didn’t want people to look down upon me for taking so much time deciding, but then changing my mind. I didn’t want people to think that I couldn’t handle whatever path I chose. But at the same time, I didn’t want my future to look bleak. Practicality was important along with passion.

I will admit that by the end of my freshman year, I did declare. I am a Communications and Creative Writing major who is still discerning a minor. A part of me wishes I was still in the ambiguous void of the undeclared world, but I also feel content with this decision and glad to have some sense of direction. I have no idea what I’ll do after graduation. The dream is to be a screenwriter for television, but who knows where the next three years will take me.

So for all future college students out there who are not entirely sure what they want to do, I would highly recommend waiting to declare. You learn a lot about yourself in your first year of college, and even if you do enter declared, chances are you will alter your degree to some extent.

I guess what I’m trying to get across is your personality is fluid. It’s easy to believe otherwise, that once you go to college you just know. But you change all the time. You won’t always be the same person that you were in middle school. And that is okay.