People are shocked when they hear that I’ve never had an M&M. It's such a quintessential American candy, it seems almost impossible to never have tasted one. When I try to explain how food allergen cross-contamination works, people start to understand why. But they still assume that I’m missing out.

Whenever I get questions about my allergies, like how can I possibly live having never eaten a PB&J, I always give the same answer: “you can’t miss what you’ve never had”. And I firmly stand by this. Yes, I have life-threatening food allergies to peanuts and tree nuts, but I’ve never felt like I’ve missed out on anything.

When I was a little kid, my parents used to take me to Dunkin’ Donuts before a birthday party so I’d have something to eat when everyone else got cake (many store-bought cakes are made in facilities that also use peanuts and tree nuts). I’m used to refusing food if I don’t know exactly where it came from. I always eat before I go to a party because I know it’s going to be hard to confirm the ingredients of the food provided. Whenever I go to a conference or event, I make sure I pack plenty of my own snacks and eat at chain restaurants if I’m in an unfamiliar place. This is my life, and it’s my normal. I’ve never known anything else.

I must plan my day ahead of time to make sure that I always have access to something safe that I can eat. Culinary spontaneity isn’t really an option for me. In addition to always eating before I go somewhere, I always carry a purse or a bag when I do leave my house because my EpiPen doesn’t fit comfortably in my pocket, and leaving without it would be practically suicidal.

Also, now that I’m older, I'm starting to explore travel options and go more places on my own. I must take into account my allergies and potential language and cultural barriers in deciding where I can go. I know that people with allergies travel all the time, but there’s a lot more planning and precautions involved. It’s possible, but it’s definitely not easy. In some places, there are types of food I’ll simply never be able to experience, but that’s a reality I’ve long come to accept.

And as for the M&M’s and PB&J’s, there are plenty of substitutes out there that, I am assured, are just as good as the real thing.

People with food allergies aren't missing out on life, they just have to live it a little bit differently.

Allergies are my reality, and I cannot imagine my life any other way.