There is a new form of torture that has recently been introduced to the math world. It goes by the name ‘Webworks’. Whisper that word in the hallways of my high school and a horrified icy shiver will run down every surrounding student’s back.

Essentially Webworks is an online assignment for mathematics. It’s all the fun of regular math homework with the additional invasiveness of an invisible proctor standing over your shoulder watching your attempts (and inevitable failures). For me Webworks combines everything about math that makes me want to curl up into a ball and completely ignore the illusive beauty of mathematics. There is true beauty in mathematics and that is probably the only thing that is pushing me to understand all these equations, formulas, derivatives, rules, and wrong answers.

The crazy thing is that Webworks actually has merit in helping for test preparation. What better way to simulate a test than a time pressured situation where the only answer is the correct answer? These are some of the thoughts that passed through my mind as I attempted to complete recent Webworks assignment:

-I should have taken my math credits and ran fast in the other direction.
-When did I forget basic algebra?
-What even are numbers?
-If I were a number what number would I be?
-Five tries to succeed is not enough.
-The answer does not exist.
-I do not exist.
-The only reality is Calculus.
-Women in STEM!
-I can be that woman in STEM! I just need to find my niche!
-Who am I kidding? I love words too much.
-I should go and get some water.
-A human can drown in two inches of water.
-We should be striving for comprehension not grades.
-Derivatives are so cool.
-By cool I mean horrifying.
-It is October, so Calculus suits the spooky ambiance.
-Math is fun.
-Conversely math is the worst invention in all of eternity.
-But applied mathematics...
-I want to take physics.
-Trigonometry is interesting.
-I love a good sine curve.
-I don’t love finding the slope of a tangent line at a specific point.
-You know what else sucks? Time limits and procrastination.
-Why do I do this?
-What even is this?
-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH (repeat frequently)
-What would happen if I became a hermit?
-Do hermits have to do math?
-Our modern civilization is based upon a bunch of people doing math without calculators.
-I should do this all without a calculator.
-That was a waste of twenty minutes.
-MATH IS FUN I SWEAR.
-That’s a lie.
-Math used to be fun, I swear.
-Truth.
-At least three people in my life truly enjoy math.
-They are gods amongst men.
-People who understand Calculus are gods amongst men.
-I want to understand from the bottom of my heart.
-Wrong answer.
-Wrong answer.
-Wrong answer.
-The internet, a math textbook, and my calculator are worth nothing.
-If only grades didn’t matter this whole situation would be less stressful.
-The points are irrelevant at this point, just show me what the right path is.
-A CORRECT ANSWER!
-I must celebrate with a feast or poem or some dancing.
-What is life?
-What is math?
-What is the answer to number 11? My goodness.
-Push through the pain.
-Whoever put math tutorials on the internet for students to enjoy at their leisure deserves some money, or a puppy, or something.
-Math, man. I don't even know where to begin.