The Bachelor of Season 23, Colton Underwood has already been dumped twice in the span of two back to back episodes. The strong women who decided to leave the show on their own accord exemplified self respect in acknowledging their true needs. They basically asked themselves the same question viewers are wondering at home: in less than 2 months, can you truly see yourself marrying someone you've co-dated with 30 other women?
Vying for someone's love and attention is hard enough, but imagine trying to get to know them while they simultaneously date 30 other people. Genuine relationships take time, and that's exactly what contestant Elyse explained to Colton in Episode 5.
Weeks after experiencing a true connection in their one on one date, Elyse from Soldotna, Alaska, felt that she was being forgotten by the lovable bachelor. Tearful, she put on her best dress and met with him privately to express her concerns. Elyse admitted that she wouldn't be able to be engaged to Colton at the end of the show, but that she would need more time alone with him. Waning to experience the normal intimacy and bonding cultivated within a relationship, she left the show. Elyse was true to herself knew that Colton's vague compliments wouldn't amount to much in the end.
Elyse's departure was a shock to the rest of the girls, and it ultimately shook Colton. The bachelor's biggest fear is to choose someone who's in it for the wrong reasons. And although he claimed to have felt a spark between them, Elyse's honesty was appreciated.
I admire Elyse for doing what she did because it proved that her intent was real. She just wanted to find love, but she realized that The Bachelor isn't an environment that could allow such a feeling to genuinely flourish.
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Closely following Elyse, NBA dancer Sydney decided that Colton needed to take initiative, or her time was up.
In Episode 6, almost half of the girls complained they hadn't had enough time with the bachelor and they were concerned that they wouldn't get a rose. Sydney was among the worrisome girls, but she was the only one brave enough to confess to Colton.
In a brief discussion, Sydney basically called the bachelor out for not doing enough to get to know the other girls. He keeps his circle small, and the same girls get chosen for dates time and time again. Flustered, Colton clearly didn't have a good enough response, so Sydney left.
Before walking away though, she warned Colton that he was spending his time with the wrong girls, girls who weren't on the show for the right reasons. Her farewell left him with a lot to think about.
Sydney was forward, and she wasn't afraid to say that she wanted more out of their "relationship".
I think that Elyse and Sydney are great examples of what it means to have self-worth. In any relationship, women should be able to recognize what's lacking. If you aren't being treated the way you deserve to be treated, speak up! There's no use in sticking around if you're the only one trying.
Stand up for what you want and walk when you have to walk. Strong, independent women know when to leave the room.
