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Relationships

The Real Reason That I Brag About My Boyfriend

Never settle for someone that doesn't deserve you

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The Real Reason That I Brag About My Boyfriend
Reader's Digest

I truly hate seeing those articles or cynical status' of resentment regarding happy relationships. But the funny thing is that I used to LOVE those articles. I used to share every single one, of course, accompanied by one of my infamous rants about self-love and solitude. But that was before my boyfriend, and it was before I truly understood how beautiful and treasured love can be.

I had been in relationships prior to this one, but none of the healthy variety. Emotionally abusive narcissists were my drug of choice for a number of years, unfortunately. And during the time I spent out of relationships, I was boldly and outspokenly single, and all of my Facebook posts were reflective of this. I guess you could say that I have always been very open about my struggles, my beliefs, and life choices, (which I am sure is not at all a surprise to you guys).

The point is that prior to being in a healthy relationship, I never understood the idea of people being genuinely happy together, and I certainly did NOT understand the point of displaying a happy relationship on Facebook. I was unapologetically bitter, highly cynical and completely ignorant. Why were people so happy? And why were they telling others, I felt like it was being rubbed in my face constantly. And my insecurities and envious nature only grew more and more over time.

But if I could talk to the single version of myself, I would say this; nobody is rubbing anything in your face.


From where I am standing now, it feels like I am living a completely different life. I talk about my happy relationship on Facebook (and on Odyssey), because I want to reach people (like my former self) who have never attained or fully understood happy or healthy relationships. I want to reach the people who have only known abuse and unhappiness. I guess, if I am honest, I want to reach the old me.

Every time I say something kind, uplifting or exciting about my guy, it is not intended to be insensitive to your singleness. I want to show the single women, that GOOD MEN DO EXIST (with a little bit of patience, of course). This beautiful, endangered species of a man who cooks for you, cleans for you, prays for you and cares for you when you are sick is REAL. And they aren't just real, they are extremely attractive, as well! Because honestly, I thought men like this only existed in Matthew McConaughey chick flicks or Nicholas Sparks romance novels. And on the off chance that they did exist, I never thought in a million years that one of these "unicorns" would take a chance on someone like me.

I thought if anything, a really good man (if given the choice) would choose to be with some beauty queen from a perfect suburban family. Or possibly a good man would choose someone with a graduate degree or an extremely sought after career. But no, this man chose me. The girl with no degree, no Miss America trophies, certainly not a perfect job in sight and a highly dysfunctional family tree that I try to keep under-wraps. This just goes to show that not only do good men exist, but they also pick real girls with real flaws. In a healthy, loving relationship, each person brings their own flaws to the equation, yet both parties must continually choose to put the relationship before themselves, before their flaws and before their own self-interest.


Ladies, you do not ever have to hide who you are to please another person, but you especially should not ever have to stoop to such levels in the dating world. Obviously, at the beginning of a relationship, we all put our "best foot forward" in a sense, and try to draw on all our greatest strengths. Naturally, we do our best to cover up those major (and sometimes minor) flaws. But I strongly urge you to be genuine, because the right man is going to look past whatever flaws you have (minor or major) and still wholeheartedly believe that the sun shines out of your ass, I promise.

The right man is going to love you with three-day-old dry shampooed (not shampooed) hair. He will love you with morning breath, and he will prove it with a big messy morning kiss. This guy will love you with bags under your eyes and un-plucked eyebrows. He will sincerely believe that you are beautiful in all of the above situations, accompanied by none other than a large t-shirt and even larger sweatpants with stains on them. I say all of this because I know it to be true. And I have lived it every day for the past week after being diagnosed with the flu and living in misery for 5+ days. My boyfriend stood by me, held my hand, gave me sweet kisses, gave me big hugs, and told me I was beautiful for each and every one of those five days. He did not complain. He did not ask questions. He just loved me and accepted me in all my contamination.

When I brag on my boyfriend, I am not bragging just to brag, or to bring other people down in their singleness. I brag because, one, I love him, and sometimes I believe he deserves recognition far greater than all my tiresome verbal praise at home. And two, I brag because I want to encourage my single lady friends. I want to strengthen the women around me into truly understanding that they have options and that they should never even consider settling for a man that doesn't respect them, nor deserve them. I want my friends to know that you should wait for a good one, even if it takes months or years for him to make his move or cross your path because he will be worth every single aching moment that you spent alone.

And ladies, one last thing, if you are already in a toxic relationship, GET OUT. I know it is not easy, and getting away from someone abusive or toxic in any way is no task for the faint of heart, but do what you can to find a helpful mentor or friend/family member to turn to. Never stick around in the hopes that your evil villain will turn into a Prince Charming. This is NOT the hit ABC series, Once Upon A Time. Nobody has a character quite that complex. Find a way out, because your real Prince Charming is waiting for you. You will never find the right one if you are still hooking up with the wrong one. This is for you, 19-year-old Amanda's of the world. I'm rooting for you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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