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Real Men Cry

We need to lift the anti-sensitvity stigma on masculinity.

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Real Men Cry
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Let me get straight to the point: it is not weak for men to cry. They are human beings and they feel emotions as much as women do. The difference is that women are encouraged to show what they are feeling. Men are not.

When my younger brother was a sophomore in high school, he went to the bathroom and some stupid kids threw a metal trash can lid into the stall he was using. We never found out if he was specifically targeted, but it does not change that his classmates made fun of him for crying. The trash can lid HIT HIM IN THE FACE while he was minding his own business ON THE TOILET.

Kids are mean that way. But society is like that as a whole. Men are judged if they cry. Yet, their wives and girlfriends get annoyed when they refuse to open up about their feelings. Does anyone else notice the irony here?

The lines between strength and masculinity are blurred. In my own experiences, I have noticed women mistake a sarcastic, angry streak for masculinity. Then, they find themselves in a situation where they learn otherwise.

Masculinity is more than muscles and a tough attitude. A strong man is there for his woman and the people he loves no matter what. He solves problems rather than runs away from them. And he lets himself feel his emotions and lets other people know what he is feeling.

If a man cries, it is not for nothing. He is hurting. He is expressing the feelings society — and other men and maybe even women — have forced them to repress. A man being sensitive is not a bad thing. A sensitive man is aware of his own feelings, as well as the feelings of others. And the women in his life will appreciate him for being honest about it. Trust me.

I have seen my father cry. He cried when our last dog, Sophie, died. He cried when my brother was diagnosed with diabetes at age twelve. He cried at my grandfather’s funeral, even though he did not always see eye-to-eye with his father-in-law.

Did I judge him for it? No. Did I see him as weak for it? No, because my father is a strong man. Most husbands would have abandoned all responsibilities if their wives took sick. My father didn’t.

To the other men in my life: if you need to cry, let yourself cry. Don’t listen to the bullshit others tell you that men can’t cry or show any feeling other than anger and any other emotion deemed “masculine.” You are entitled to feel what you want to feel. So, put those tear ducts to good use if you need to.

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