"No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice."
My boyfriend and I have known each other for a few months now and one of our biggest differences is the way we plan outings and hangouts.
"We're so different!" I've said. "You like to plan, while I like to be spontaneous."
In response, my boyfriend Greg has said, "But, I can be spontaneous!"
Haha, okay Greg, yeah... you can be 'spontaneous' if I tell you in advance that I want to be spontaneous, so that you can jot it down in your notes or calendar and make sure you have no other commitments going on.
Hence, not-being-spontaneous.
Overall, Greg and I have very different views of what 'spontaneous' means.
As odd of an example as that may seem, thinking about that conversation and difference Greg and I share leads me to realize that planning to love someone - or choosing to love someone - is actually one of the most beautiful things about love.
I choose to still love Greg despite the fact that we plan things very differently.
With that in mind, I've heard it said that real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.
And, Its true.
As soon as the 'honeymoon phase' and early relationship butterflies have fluttered away, you will realize that you love someone who is just as imperfect as you are. Then in return, you will realize that they do the same.
After that, you will realize that real love, true love, isn't just a cloud nine spontaneous feeling - it's a deliberate choice - a game plan to love each other unconditionally, no matter what.
Of course, you don't choose who you're attracted to, but you definitely choose who you fall in love with and (more importantly) who you stay in love with.
If you start to date somebody and it comes to your attention that they are not the one for you, then you have the choice to not invest your time, energy, and emotions.
And if it comes to your attention that that somebody is the one for you, then you also have the choice to invest your time, energy, emotions, and most importantly your love.
In our day and age, our society places a plethora amount of pressure on feelings. We are taught that we should always follow our feelings and do whatever makes us happy in the moment.
But, feelings are very fickle and fleeting. In other words, feelings are temporary.
Real love on the other hand, is not a feeling.
Real love is an action, a life style, a choice.
Real love is one of the few things on this planet that I choose to believe is constant, sure, and true. Whenever we find ourselves stressed, struggling, drowning in our problems, we can find strength and refuge in the love that we have chosen.
Overall in life, we have the ability and freedom to make choices. And with that said, why can't love be a choice as well?
The bottom line is that, choices are literally everything.
You can choose how you want to feel, you can choose how you want to act, and you can choose how you want to put those feeling and actions into play.
This is a theory that not everyone will agree with, but it is what I have experienced and continue to experience.
But when it comes to the concept of love, it is one of the biggest choices we as individuals choose to participate in.
In relationships, we do choose to love all the time without even realizing that we are continually making that choice.
Not only do we choose to love the other person, but we also choose to love the hard things and bad things that come our way- we choose to forgive one another when one of us screws up - and, we choose to support each others dream to the fullest.
Real love isn't always easy and pretty - and it's nothing like the 'honey moon phase' at the beginning of the relationship 24/7 - instead, it's far more meaningful and wonderful because it is something that we have chosen to be apart of, and it is something that we have allowed to be apart of us.
Whenever Greg and I run into a small bump in the road or have a disagreement, I do my best to choose love, he does his best to choose love, we do our best to choose love together.
As for anyone who is reading this, if you have chosen to truly love and commit yourself to someone (and they truly love you back), always remember to choose love.
Love is always the answer.
