I use to adore Christmas and everything it was about. As I've gotten older, I have noticed myself becoming more and more depressed when this time of year comes around. This year will be the second year in the last six that I am unable to go home to family. Thankfully, I can keep myself busy with two of my three jobs, and that I have my two fur children with me, but it won't be as happy as I had hoped.
Christmas time can be very hard for some people and not everybody shows it. I am not one to ever really let anyone in but I am also not someone afraid to show my emotions. Watching families come together and create memories is always hard for me to do because I would give anything to be able to just sit in the same room with my family even just for a day. The last time I saw them was in August and they literally drove two days from Louisiana to North Dakota just to bring me things for my classroom and then stay for 24 hours just to drive back home again. I thought that would put my heart at ease but it really just made me even more anxious to go home again.
Like everyone, we all think "home for the holidays," but when airline tickets cost as much as a months rent, it's not always possible. I found out I wasn't able to go home in early November and was crushed. Thankfully, I have a family that I talk to everyday and they check up on me like it's their day job. That's what a military family does, we care deeply about each other so you would think that a Christmas apart would be easy. Wrong, it's the toughest thing I have EVER been through. In my 24 years of life, we have only not been together TWICE. Thanksgiving is another story but Christmas was always the four of us together. Even when my dad was Active Duty Air Force, we were never apart on Christmas Eve or day. I wouldn't know what to do at that young of an age if I didn't have both of my parents with me.
My mom was bummed when I couldn't come home, but she wanted to make sure I had gifts to open on Christmas morning. I was so excited that I was going to get to Facetime them and open gifts just like if I was at home. I told her what I wanted, she went shopping and shipped me the box. In the week leading up to my box arriving, I cleaned out my bank account to afford my bills, I didn't have enough to afford groceries so I am living off of hamburger helper in small portions, and I was over charged on my rent. This package was going to be my saving grace, the one hope I had left about this season and everything it stands for. I was ready for something great to happen.
My Package never made it to me, so I have a few things to say to the person who decided to steal my Christmas hope.
Dear Grinch,
Why did you feel the need to do this? You live in my building with me, you have probably seen many packages worth more than this sit at my doorstep for hours before I came home to get them. Why this one? What worth does it have to you to take the presents my family got for me? I hope you're enjoying them and having the time of your life. I know they're just things, but to me; they were my everything. I was going to open them with my family to make it feel as though I was home with them again because my depression is getting bad again and I need even the smallest amount of light to get me through this season. Taking someone's Christmas gifts is lower than low. I would've rather you have taken one of the boxes of makeup I received from Limelife than something from "Mom and Dad." If the person who took them wants to return them, I'd be thrilled; but as of now, I am just assuming I'll have a Christmas with nothing under my tree. I am not going to ask my parents to repurchase things and resend them in fear you will strike again. I just hope you really needed them more than I did.
