Becoming an adult is something we all look forward to, and there are many rewards we reap from growing up. But everyone hits a point (or ten) in their newfound adulthood where you stop and wonder what the f--- you’re doing. Every time things are going pretty well, you suddenly need a new appliance, or bills are rained down upon you, and this time your parents aren’t there to save the day. Now you start flipping through your adult handbook in your head, that has gotten pretty dusty over the years of neglect, thinking you know how to do it all, and realizing your parents must be gods for doing this for the last 30 years.

And, not only do you have a lot of practical skills to acquire, you also learn to cut a lot of bull---- out of your life because you start to learn what matters, and that you don’t have time for other people’s crap on top of all the adulting you’re trying to learn.

College is probably the life equivalent of training wheels, because, yes, I am becoming an adult—I have a real job, I pay for an apartment, and I take care of myself, I’m still texting my parents literally everyday with questions. And my dad still makes the two-hour drive to come to my aid once in a while when necessary (thank you).

Here are a few things I’ve encountered in my journey to adulthood.

Learning to budget

I’m not even going to pretend for the sake of this article that I have a clue how to efficiently budget and save money. This, for me, is the number one, hardest part about growing up. Managing money is incredibly difficult when you never have much of it. I planned to save a lot of money this summer since I’m working full time for the first time. Well, I’m also paying bills for the first time, and feeding myself everyday, so this has proved much harder than I thought.

Online banking has made it so we don’t need to write down every single purchase we make. We swipe our cards left and right, and check our balance once a week. This is terrible for learning how to budget.

I’m a very visual person and I need to write things out and draw concept maps to plan my life. So I’ve taken to writing up old-fashioned budget charts and plans, like they taught you one time in one chapter of math class in middle school. My goal is to create a budget planner and to stick to it. Shopping is my kryptonite and my bank account is really showing that.

Learning to cook

I’ve always enjoyed cooking and baking. Dishes are a chore, but they don’t bother me—I had a job in a kitchen for three years that involved a lot of dishes, I can roll with it.

But lord almighty what the hell am I supposed to cook everyday? And I have to feed myself at least three meals! I am now in awe of the fact that my parents managed to make delicious meals most days of the week my entire life. We always had leftovers, there was always something cooking, always food in the house to cook with, and always something to snack on. I seriously don’t know how they did it. And they make it look effortless.

I can cook. I can totally do it. My biggest problem is figuring out what to cook everyday and finding things that are easy, quick, and affordable. Grocery shopping is the worst. It is expensive, I always forget stuff, and I have to keep doing it every week.

One of the best resources for a young adult starting off is actually those Tasty videos by Buzzfeed you always see on Facebook. Those visual, easy recipes are so awesome, so helpful, and so tasty.

Learning to clean (regularly)

Like most people I’m sure, I have such a love-hate relationship with cleaning, leaning more toward the hate side. I am very particular about organizing things, and I hate when the counters or stove are messy. I don’t like clutter in the kitchen or in bathrooms. I am always happy to wipe down my counters after cooking and doing dishes. I also enjoy mopping with the Swiffer every now and then.

But lord help me with the following: sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, and laundry.

My roommate can attest to the fact that I hate vacuuming. I hate that it’s so loud, I hate dealing with the cord, I hate moving furniture and miscellaneous items out of the way. When the vacuum is finally dragged out by whoever I live with, I usually hide. It’s just the worst.

The only thing I hate about as much as vacuuming is dusting. I hate having dust around so I do dust quite often, but it is a begrudged affair. The worst part? The dust is back within a week and I stare at it with loathing. Especially because dust makes me stuffy and itchy.

With laundry, doing it isn’t that bad, it’s the putting away of clothes I detest. Also, the process of washing my bedding is such an ordeal that I can only manage to force myself to do it once a month…sometimes every other month.

Learning to really work

A lot of people do put in full-time hours during high school summers, which are usually things like lifeguarding, outdoor park and rec stuff, golf course maintenance, kids camps, etc.

While, yes, this is all hard work and these people are absolutely hard workers, there is a big difference between working full time and coming home to your parents’ house, and working full time and coming home to an empty house of your own that you now have to work on.

Not only that, there’s a big difference between your part-time high school job, and your first career-building job.

It’s a completely different world for me now. Throughout high school, I went to work everyday in yoga pants and a t-shirt, I put on a hairnet, tied on my apron, and I was elbow deep in dishwater most of the day, serving food, and working with the elderly. Now, I dress business-casual and go to work in the corporate office a worldwide, industry-leading company. I have my own desk, and I do my own work.

I can’t express how thankful I am for the experiences I’ve had in this job, because I’ve gained professionalism, initiative, and confidence. Getting that first real job teaches you a lot about the work world and it helps you understand your own professional goals so much more.

Learning what a true friend is

This is a harder lesson to learn, but it’s important. If a friendship, or a relationship too, is constant, uphill work, fights, passive-egressive anger, pettiness, etc. then it’s not at all worth it. If you’re putting more into it than you’re getting out, you should just get out. A friendship is a lot like a relationship: it takes effort, care, and it is a two-way street. If that’s not the case, you need to learn to burn that bridge—in a mature way. Sometimes two people are just meant to go separate ways.

Learning to pick your battles

You have to learn, both at work and in your personal life, when to let things roll off your back, or when you really do need to stand up and fight for yourself. Some things just aren’t worth it, and you shouldn't waste your time. But it’s also so important to know when you’re being mistreated and when to stand your ground and fight for yourself.

Learning to walk this line and discern what really matters is what becoming an adult means, and it might take some trial and error, but you just have to keep a level head an open perspective.

Learning to look at the big picture

In learning who and what are important in your life, you learn to broaden your perspective and look at the big picture when considering an issue. You might bury yourself so deep in an argument that it seems like life or death right now. This is when you need to seriously try and take a step back, remove yourself form the situation and allow yourself to reflect on it.

Try to think about yourself ten years from now looking back on this moment: is this really something that’s going to impact the rest of your life?

If not, let it go.

If it might, be open minded, be kind, communicate, ask for help, and be practical. You will figure it out, but don’t forget to look at things on a grand scale when considering your issues and struggles.

Growing up is hard work, and you start to see a reality you didn’t realize existed. Your family is your greatest ally throughout this process. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, because sometimes you can’t do it all. Be open minded to new experiences and realize that even though you’re starting, halfway through, or done with college, you really don’t know as much as you think you do about life. Just be willing and eager to learn.