Scrolling through twitter you see multiple accounts saying the same thing goals, relationship goals, etc. You see pictures of notes and presents from one significant other to their “bae.” Always showing the wants and dreams for what people want in a relationship. Over time our expectations and desires from a relationship grow so much that it has gone from the overly simple (holding your hand in public) to the overly exaggerated and almost impossible expectations (buying each other presents over $20). There was always the fight that in a relationship you should never have to force PDA, emotional openness, or even simple signs of love. Then there was progression to realize that when open and loving on both sides allowed for a healthy relationship.

Through social media there has been another shift for relationship; through the multiple sites and social media we now see ridiculous expectations for relationships of all kind. Scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, I encounter many pictures and tweets of people with presents that range from puppies to expensive items of clothing or accessories. Most of the time I find myself enthralled by the sweet things people do for the person they love but then there is the realization that how are they able to pay for this? How are these teenagers able to spend most likely hundreds of dollars on their significant others for almost no reason (most of the time).

In reality, my problem is not with the amount of money that is being spent—I mean it is a good percentage—but the expectation that girls or woman now expect boys to spend lots of money on them at such a young age. Most teenagers maybe have a minimum wage job that they work weekends only due to the fact that they have school. I believe that the amount of money mixed with the new expectation can really create a false reality of what a relationship is. There can always be the open reality that you can buy each other things or have the heart to do that randomly or even spend more than $20 dollars on someone as long as you are comfortable. But there is also the totally great version of a relationship where all you are able to give the other person is your time, love, and attention.

The great reality that we live in now is that there should be the perfect okay situation where no money needs to be spent and love still be seen. Relationships should not be based on the money that people spend on each other but based on the time and quality of time you spend with them. The true problem is the social media is now eschewing our expectations of relationships along with our view of what a relationship should be. What a relationship should be an exchanged of affection and ideas in a comfortable space between two people. There are, of course, really sweet realistic goals of a relationships out there but let this be a warning to not turn a young relationship into a unrealistic expectation of presents in your hands.