They will tell you that it costs a lot to raise a family. That in the US the average middle-income family will spend roughly $12,980 per child. They will tell you that childcare is a major cost for most families. Researchers will tell you that most of the burden of parenting falls on the mothers, as though that should factor in. Researchers would even have you believe that if you knew just how much it costs to have children the number of children being born would drastically decline.

So, what is the cost of having children?

It is sleepless nights and giving up free time. It is choosing to put someone else’s needs over your own. Financially it is buying more food and living in a bigger house then if you were alone. It is not going out on Saturday night.

But what you will get out of it is worth more than any career. The cuddles, hugs, and snuggles. The smiles, I love you, and each time they grasp something new. It is the lifelong bond that will grow. It is the generations that will make you into more than what you are now.

The cost of parenting isn’t as high as the researchers would have you believe. When they state that it costs roughly 28% more to pay for housing then if you didn’t have a child, are they considering the type of housing some single people choose to live in? A family of three, husband wife and child can live in a two-bedroom home or apartment, and a single person can also choose to live in a two-bedroom home or apartment.

Furthermore, the more children you have doesn’t necessarily mean that the costs go up. My husband and I are currently raising four children, four children in the same home that we raised three children in. Our younger son and daughters wear hand me down clothing. Because two of our children are so close in age they can share a lot of the clothing.

I choose not to work outside the home to eliminate the need for childcare. While it is true that childcare is an expensive burden there becomes a point where the expense of childcare outweighs the benefit of two incomes. In our case it occurred shortly after our second child was born. At that point the cost of having two children in day care was more expensive then the income I could earn.

You might be told that you are not successful if you don’t follow a career path. That you cannot be a stay at home mom and be equal to your male peers. You might believe that in the 2018’s you shouldn’t have to be a stay at home mom. Yet, when your time is up, when your day is done, do you want to be surrounded by people who said you had an amazing career or people who said you were their amazing mom?

I don’t know about you, but I would rather be remembered by my children for the childhood and family time we built together than any career on this planet.

The costs of being a parent is high, but the rewards make it more than worth it.