Hey there.
Don't think I haven't noticed you in the back of the Starbucks line, shrinking awkwardly close to the blonde girl in front of you so that other people will think she's your girlfriend. You're hoping they will assume that she's the one about to order a venti pumpkin spice latte, and not you.
And that's OK. Taking the first step in admitting you like sugary, delicious coffee drinks that happen to be enjoyed by the majority of young women can be very scary. You don't have to prove yourself all at once. For now, feel free to just get a tall mocha latte. It's got espresso in it, so it won't smell or taste as sweet, and you'll still feel adequately macho. It's the safe choice for you right now, and that is fine.
The same goes for when you're in the condiment aisle at Walmart. I know your roommate might make fun of you for buying Nutella. But remember, all that means is that he won't get to experience the rich, chocolate goodness. You don't have to get that giant jar to keep in the pantry, where your roommate can see it every time he goes for the peanut butter. You could just get a small jar, perfect for hiding in your sock drawer and eating while binge watching "House of Cards" or "The Walking Dead" or that new Liam Neeson movie.
It's okay to not be ready to put the Nutella on the kitchen counter for the world to see. If the very act of walking past Nutella is too much for you right now, you could always ask one of your female friends to buy some for you. If you ever need extra courage, remember that Frank Underwood wouldn't give a damn if someone judged him for eating Nutella.
No matter how far along you are on the path to owning your basic-ness, I am proud of you. Not just anyone can admit their fondness for popular coffee drinks or chocolate-based condiments, especially in a society that condemns anyone for liking something that someone else likes. Always remind yourself that it is perfectly fine not to be different.
One day, you will be able to walk straight up to the register at Starbucks. But that day might not be today. And that's OK.
