If you got her background story from her, that's great.
If you got her background story from her friends, that's great too.
But you still don't know the full story. Chances are she blocked out terrible things; things she can't remember and never told anybody. Chances are the situations and events that happened, she will never be able to talk about, whether that be to you or to her closest friends.
And you have to be okay with that. Her actions and attitude will tell you more than you will ever know about her painful past.
At first, you will see a bright and happy person who loves life and living. You get to know her and her humor and sarcasm is unlike any other, which leaves you intrigued and wanting to stick around. BUT If you dig deeper, you will find someone who has been hurt time and time again and cracks in the front she tries to put up.
You are now stuck with the decision of sticking around, because you have an amazing girl that you care about or hitting the road because you're not sure if all the extra effort you put in is worth it.
SPOILER ALERT: SHE IS WORTH IT be patient with the girl who was broken before you met her.
She will love easy and hard. She will put her whole self into any type of friendship or relationship, and you will soon realize that. This time is difficult, because you're supposed to be getting to know all of the little things about each other that you didn't know before. It is normally full of spontaneous evenings, sleepovers, ice cream runs, late night drives, and binge watching Netflix seasons. Instead you're dealing with tears, random confusion, stubbornness, and silence. You're probably already having a difficult time understanding her and her mind, and the "cupcake" phase isn't even over.
For the longest time, she would give everything to her friends, especially boys. When they were bored or mad at her, she would be forgotten about and treated poorly. She easily falls back into this twisted psychological cycle of trying to please them and walk on eggshells around them. She always came back after boys or friends that hurt her in the worst ways. She always forgave and forgot what they had done.
She isn't used to feeling good enough. She's use to being manipulated, treated unfairly, insecure, meaningless, replaceable, and worthless from her past.
She isn't used to getting presents and little bouquets of flowers, just because. She's use to getting abused, just because.
She isn’t used to feeling like she can break down in front of you. She isn't used to feeling like she can honestly express or communicate how she is feeling without being told to suck it up. She's used to pretending that she's alright so that no problems would arise from her feelings. She's used to bottling in her true emotions so that he wouldn't accuse her of trying to start a fight over nothing. She’s used to feeling cautious, quiet, hesitant, and scared to be herself.
Once she finds herself getting close, she will back down and try to push you away. Not answering texts or calls as quickly.
That's when you try harder. Not give up.
Everything that he said to her, replays over and over in her mind, to the point where it’s all she thinks about. While she’s at work, with her friends and family, or trying to fall asleep at night.Right now, she’s most likely feeling like you’re too good to be true, that what you have together is too good to be true. You need to know she will be scared, and you need to know that its not your fault. She’s having trouble believing that a guy could do nice things just because he wanted to, and not to make up for something bad. It will take time. It will take patience. It will take courage to pursue this woman who has been broken before. She is afraid that the vicious cycle will happen again. But she lets you in and tells you about everything that he's done to her, in hopes you don’t let her down.
The harsh reality is, you are stuck fixing the mess and putting back the pieces left behind by another boy. BUT HONEY, SHE'S WORTH IT.
When you two argue, you will see her shut down almost instantaneously. You will see her put her head down and try to ignore you, change the subject or turn away from you. When you raise your voice, you will see her flinch. Arguments will be avoided as much as she possibly can, even if she feels like she is right. She will apologize for everything, even in the smallest of ways because she wants to avoid conflict. Love her, love her with all you have because someone didn't. Someone's words and actions made her the way she is today. Someone made her believe that she had to apologize for everything, or else. You believe me when I say, she is so worth it. She will love you harder than you have ever been loved.
Again I say... Please, love her to the best of your abilities.
Do not hurt her.
Be a man.
Be there for her.
Trust her.
Help her.
Heal her.
Love her.
Her giving you a chance is a much bigger deal than you might think. It was you that changed her mind about love existing. Despite being hurt by someone before you, she has decided that she’s willing to risk being hurt again because of you.She sees something incredible, and amazing inside of you. Do not take that for granted. That says something about you and your character. She's still learning, trust me in telling you she's worth the extra time, the hugs, the trying to understand moments. She's worth it all, so just be patient.
Because all she ever wanted was to be loved the same way she loved.
