Nine years ago, fans of J.K. Rowling's massively successful book series, Harry Potter, finished readingDeathly Hallows and were told that "All was well." Harry had defeated Voldemort, married Ginny Weasley, and began to send his children off to their own adventures at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The series was over, everyone was happy, and all was well.
At least until Harry Potter's own birthday: July 31, 2016. With the release of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, fans are given a continuation to their favorite series, but at what cost?
What could have possibly happened in the past few years of Harry's (hopefully uneventful -- that man has had too much adventure to last anyone a lifetime) life that would require a brand new book? Or a stage play?
Let's just begin by saying that it was nothing I was expecting. It was crazy all the time, hilarious some of the time, mind blowing at parts, occasionally adorable, and just overall weird.
We'll follow that up with a warning: This article contains major spoilers for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.
You have been warned.
Cursed Child begins as a completely normal Harry Potter book (how deceiving). We start where we ended -- on the Hogwarts Express platform. The Potter family makes it through the 9 3/4 barrier without a scratch and meet up with the Granger-Weasley family.
It's here that we're introduced to the new character of Ron: somehow not nearly as great as book Ron, but better than movie Ron. At this point, Ron is already working with George at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, and it certainly shows through. We’re told right away that Ron perform the muggle trick of stealing someone’s nose and that “It’s a lame trick. Everyone enjoys its lameness.”
Wait. Hold on. What? Why is this important? Why aren’t his children rolling their eyes or pretending to be embarrassed by their father? Just a few lines up, Rose Granger-Weasley complains, “Mum! Dad’s doing that lame thing again.” Yet everyone enjoys its lameness. Ok. It’s the small things.
Not long after, we meet little Scorpius Malfoy (be still my heart -- he's so precious). It's friendship at first sight with Scorpius and Albus. It's also here that we learn that Ginny and Harry have put themselves, and all of their children, on a low-to-no sugar diet.
Harry Potter, who bought one of everything from the trolley on his first trip to Hogwarts. Harry Potter, who is so completely oblivious to everything, and yet managed to observe at least ten specific types of candy at Honeydukes. And yet he's completely fine holding all the delicious wonder of the Wizarding world from his own children. After all, Albus is so lost when it comes to sweets that he asks Scorpius for his recommendation. Sure, people grow and learn and make decisions for themselves to stay healthy. Yet, somehow, I can't see Harry, who was deprived of sweets for his entire childhood, doing the same to his children.
Those are two small things. Things don't get truly weird until Rose shows her distrust of anyone named Malfoy. We're introduced to a rumor. A rumor that is so strange that I had to stop reading and let it process for a minute.
Scorpius: The rumor is that my parents couldn't have children. That my father and my grandfather were so desperate for a powerful heir, to prevent the end of the Malfoy line, that they... that they used a Time-Turner to send my mother back...
Albus: To send her back where?
Rose: The rumor is that he's Voldemort's son, Albus.
Hold on. What? Scorpius who sings "Sweets, they always help you make friends" and offers to share his candy and who introduces himself by saying "Hi Scorpius. I mean, I'm Scorpius. You're Albus. I'm Scorpius." Little shy, uncertain Scorpius is the son of the most evil wizard to ever live. Sounds legit.
Besides, aren't there rules and stipulations to time travel? Not that the Malfoy family is particularly known for following rules, but I would think that time travel would have too many variables and unknowns for a family such as the Malfoys to risk.
Besides, the Malfoys weren't in the best situation with Voldemort toward the end of his reign. I find it hard to believe they'd go back to him when there are so many other ways to ensure the continuation of the Malfoy family.
And then Scorpius is sorted into Slytherin. No surprise -- he is a Malfoy.
What is surprising, though, is that Albus -- the boy so afraid of being sorted into Slytherin that he hangs back until Harry assures him that the sorting hat takes his wishes into account -- is also sorted into Slytherin. And it's not a very warm welcome.
After all of Harry's adventures, his love of Hogwarts, and the friends that he finds, young Albus really gets the bad end. He has only Scorpius and is shunned by most of his housemates.
Which is really what leads to Scorpius and Albus' own adventures into time travel. Do you remember all of the rules we learned about time travel from Prisoner of Azkaban? Because you can just throw them out.
Turns out that it is possible to travel back in time several years. It is possible to so drastically change the past that you can bring back the dead. It is possible to so drastically change the past that you can kill the living.
So what do Albus and Scorpius decide to do? Travel back in time with Amos Diggory's niece, Dlphi, to protect Cedric Diggory from being killed during the Triwizard Tournament.
All they have to do is steal a special time turner from Hermione's office (who is Minister of Magic, by the way. You go, girl!). The three use polyjuice potion to transform Delphi into Hermione, Scorpius into Harry, and Albus into Ron.
So why is this strange? Because Albus, as Ron, has to district Hermione from entering her office where Delphi and Scorpius are hiding. And he does so by kissing her. Repeatedly.
Sure, they're not actually related, but Hermione is still his aunt by title. She's his brother's godmother. What about this isn't weird?
The obvious response is to travel back in time. Again. The plan this time is to humiliate Cedric right out of the competition.
When they travel back to their own time, however, Albus no longer exists, Harry is dead, Scorpius is all alone, Dolores Umbridge is Headmistress, and it's Voldemort Day.
With the help of Severus Snape (who is alive), and Ron and Hermione who are wanted fugitives, but still not a couple, Scorpius manages to make it out alive, back in time to right all of the wrongs he created, and back to his own time. And the story is over. But wait. There are still 100 pages.
Harry's scar is starting to hurt again. He's having dreams about Voldemort. The time turner is missing (good job losing that, Scorpius). Cedric is still dead.
What is even going on anymore?
Turns out Voldemort did have a child, but it wasn't Scorpius. At some point, Voldemort thought to himself that having six horcruxes wasn't enough to ensure his vision for the world, so he decided to have a child with Bellatrix Lestrange. That child, who turns out to be Delphi, was then told everything she needed to know about her heritage from Bellatrix's husband, Rodolphus.
First, Voldemort was confident in his horcruxes, at least until Deathly Hallows when the trio began hunting them down. Voldemort was confident in his own immortality. If he was so confident, why did he need an heir? And why was Rodolphus totally alright with his wife giving birth to another man's child? Also, when was Bellatrix even pregnant? So many questions...
At the end, Scorpius and Albus go back in time (again). And who better to join them than Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny.
Even Draco comes, who is now apparently old enough and wise enough to no longer pick fights. They're all friends now. It's sweet.
The group finds itself in October, 1981. The day that James and Lily Potter die and Harry is left an orphan. Not only does Harry have to relive this moment as an adult, the group also decides to transfigure Harry into Voldemort to trick Delphi.
Even more questions. Like how is Harry alright? He's watching his parents die all over again, but is actually able to comprehend what's happening. He's not only transfigured into the most evil wizard of all time, but also the wizard who was hell bent on killing Harry. The wizard that Harry had to dodge time and time again. The wizard that ultimately did kill Harry. How did this combination have seemingly no affect on the wizard?
Also, since when is it possible to just transfigure someone into another person? Doesn't that completely negate the point of Polyjuice?
Luckily, the book has a happy ending. The world is righted, Harry and Albus' relationship is fixed, and Delphi is sent to Azkaban. So happy, so complete, and so very unsatisfying.
Cedric was never saved, Scorpius still hates Hogwarts, and Hermione still doesn't know that it was really Albus she kissed, not Ron.
And yet, it's Harry Potter. As weird, confusing, and contradictory as Cursed Child was, it extended the beloved story. It gave fans more of the story that they had thought was dead. And now, with J.K. Rowling's promise, all really will be well.
