It’s been years since I’ve been in a dance studio; what was once my passion had become a distant, fond memory over the years. School got in the way, dance lessons were expensive, it began to conflict with my other extracurriculars, etc.; a thousand reasons jumbled together and excuses swirled around in my head as I shoved my tap shoes in the back of my closet. But I might be the luckiest girl in the world; I got another chance to pirouette through my school’s dance company, and although I was super excited for the opportunity, my body was not. Whether it’s been weeks or years since you’ve danced, lemme tell you a little something about getting back into dancing:

Ouch.

Ouch.

Oh, ouch.

Dancers have incredible bodily movement capacities,

and they don’t get that way overnight. If you don’t stretch yourself out every single day of the week, regardless of when you have rehearsals or practices, your body will hate you. You can’t afford to let your muscles rest for a day, especially when you’re trying to achieve that perfect split or a neat high kick. Stretching eventually becomes a relaxing exercise, but the first time stretching out a split after an extended absence feels how you’d imagine a hair tie would feel being wrapped around a ponytail for the fourth time. My eyes almost popped out of my head, but gradually, as days of stretching turn into weeks, I can now almost breathe regularly and not make awful, involuntary noises when I stretch. That, my friends, is progress.

After stretching of course, comes the actual dancing,

which is a whole different hurdle when you’ve been out of practice. My first instinct after dance auditions this year was to stare down at my bruised, brush-burnt feet and whisper, “I’m so sorry”. My feet are used to cozy socks and cushiony shoes, and to go from that to barefoot on hard floors, turning and dragging them all over the place, was again, a rude awakening. I still have a few battle scars, two weeks after auditions.

But at the end of the day,

there’s nothing I would trade this for in the world. The gingerly stepping on sore feet and the aching muscles, the late night practices, and the pain of going up and down stairs is more than worth it, every time. Just to be able to put on my half soles again is worth a thousand times more pain and inconvenience than I could ever encounter. My body may be working its way, slowly but surely, back into dance, but my spirit felt completely at home the moment I heard the first count-off at auditions. Some things in life are just…worth it.