Our friends are awesome. Our friends are great. But we are on this journey on our own.
This is not about going to raves with friends, but rather the thrills and character building that comes along with going to a show BY YOURSELF. Don’t get me wrong -- most of the time I go with friends because safety is #1 priority, and being in the company of others is where we are most comfortable, like the arctic penguins huddled up, braving the frosty winds. First, if you won’t ever feel comfortable going by yourself, don’t go by yourself. Keep reading, and stick with your homies. BUT, if you have ever had to drag around a friend that was killing your groove, or one who goes so hard that you have to go home- leaving you all frustrated and angry about missing your favorite artist or a DJ that only comes through your hometown once a year, then you know the feeling that you may have been better off going without them. Therefore, consider a night out by yourself.
Today I will be reciting my tale of raving solo (more like an epic journey) and provide you will helpful tips on how to complete this successfully, I’m going to tell you the story of my experience going solo to the festival Dancefestopia in KC and why I think you need to try raving by yourself, just once, and if you like it, by all means do it however often you can.
It started with the two trips I had to make from my car in the muck filled parking lot. First, I had to carry my tent, sleeping bag, mattress pad, duffle bag of clothes and belongings. That all went smoothly. As I walked away, I was already fearful of my things “missing” upon my arrival back. The second trip was for my cooler that fit two cases of beer and a bag of ice (I was preparing for a long weekend). First I tried to carry it, but it was far too heavy. So here I am, dragging this cooler and scraping the plastic shell right off the bottom. The next thing I know, a fellow in a classic top hat says “Hey, let me help you with that!” Man, how nice he was. We would take turns carrying it and setting it down, being careful of the slick mud that had pooled from the night before. When we finally got to my campsite, I offered him a beer and—Boom-- I had already made friends before the festival even began.
Full disclosure, I was nervous to be there by myself. I didn’t have the comfort of a friend where we could just stand around and talk. This FORCED me to enjoy my surrounding camp mates. I was enjoying meeting a bunch of people surrounding my tent. From my experience, I can tell you that you will meet so many new people just being on your own. The goal isn’t to replace old friends with new friends, but to find as many unique, cool people to hang with.
Being nervous about newness and vulnerability of being alone, I started the first night off easy, but raced to the finish. Unfortunately, Storms had cancelled the first night during Adventure Club’s set, which meant Excision wouldn’t play : (. Fear not, for he being THE F*CKING MAN returned on Saturday which was absolutely great. Since night one rained, I will go to this:
Lesson 1: Be prepared for the unexpected. Monsoon season among us in MO, I wasn’t ready to let the party stop by going to my tent. Social lubricants were instrumental in allowing my inner extrovert to come out. I sat down under a canopy which just so turned out to be the crew I chilled with for the remainder of the festival and have now gone to see Excision and Datsik with (shoutout my boys Jeff and Zach).
Saturday morning, I woke up with my feet in a puddle inside of my tent. I peeled off my socks and my feet were stone cold, white, and 10x worse than your fingers after swimming for 3 hours straight.
Lesson 2: Make sure all of your ducks are in a row. Make sure you aren’t too tweaked going to sleep. Make sure you have all of your belongings, and do your best to not lose your stuff. Remember where your tent is. Use a large landmark that is as close to perpendicular to your tent as possible so that when you line up with it, your tent should be easier to find. Remember what the tents surrounding yours look like and look for big ones to help as a marker. In contrast with Hanzel and Grettel, we will not have bread crumps to helps us find our way back. So use practical visible markers to keep track of where your tent is in the sea of tents.
Before you go alone to a festival or one-night show, make a list of things you need. If you’re not the specifically organized type, just think of everything you may need. If you go to a single night show, bring a fanny pack with more than one pocket making all of your items easily accessible. I keep my cash, ID, and cards in one pocket. The same pocket that somehow I always lose my girlfriend’s lipstick from. When going solo to a festival, there is much more to consider than going with friends. Because you can’t rely on other people for supplies, make sure you have all of the essentials--tent, optional mattress pad, duffle bag for rave gear, extra underwear, and extra outfit (it gets swampy out there), and things I didn’t bring that would be smart to next time: sunscreen, bug spray (with deet is more powerful), lotion (if you want), a small battery powered fan (ones with a mister would be great), portable charger, and especially toilet paper and baby wipes.
So why should you go solo? Your friends aren’t holding you back, but they are. If you’re with a group, you all have to decide together where to go, what to do, when to go to the bathroom, and when to do any basic simple thing. When you’re solo, you just enjoy the cruise more. I often found myself walking to and fro around the campgrounds and in to the festival. If you’re lucky like me, people will remember you from night one and say your version of, “hey look! It’s Forrest F*cked! Haha. We came up with that name for you. Come join us.” Do your best to meet new people or go dance with a group that looks like they are having fun. If that’s not your thing, then chill around and people-watch. I sat in the back a few times and watched all of the hoopers, poi spinners, glovers, and orbit throwers playing around and having fun. The cool thing is that there is absolutely nowhere you HAVE to be. Go with the flow and do whatever you feel like doing. Check out the artists you want to see, and pace yourself in anything you do, for sure.
Lesson 3: Pace yourself. Don’t dance too hard or you may be sore for the days to come. Walk around barefoot once or twice, but don’t do it all day or your feet will kill. Be trusting but not too trusting, and monitor your stuff but don’t have it weighing down your freedom. If you want the reassurance, check back on your tent periodically. Luckily I didn’t have any problems with someone stealing my stuff, and I had a whole cooler of beer just tucked away inside my tent. Probably as a rule of thumb, don’t bring anything too valuable if you’re by yourself. Your constant fear of it being taken will haunt you and if it is taken for some reason, then the festival and freedom that comes with it is over and you will panic and mindf*ck yourself for the rest of the time. The key to this, and all of this, the whole life thing is: just enjoy yourself. Whether you are with friends or not, enjoy the company of others and smile at people. That may make them want to dance around you and—boom-- you’ve got a rave crew 10x as strong.
Remember you're never truly alone.
P.S. Check out this stacked lineup from last year's Dancefestopia
