The first thing you have to know about suicidal depression is that it is, by its very nature, irrational. Everything in the human body, in society, and indeed in our entire species, has come about in order to prevent our deaths or prolong our lives. However, there is one major exception to this rule.

It could be said that military matters contradict the aforementioned rule, but the use of weapons and aggression has, historically, been rationalized as providing greater benefits to those using them. Genghis Khan did not lead the Mongols outward merely for the sake of conquering, but rather to unify the bickering tribes and end their eternal, internal strife. The Nazis rationalized their war as a pursuit of a better humanity and a better Germany, and terrorist factions often claim that their efforts are in opposition to imperialist foreign governments or religions.

These rationalizations are exactly what make military affairs an excellent analogue for the mindset of the suicidally depressed. War is irrational in the grand scheme of humanity, in the same way that suicide is irrational in the grand scheme of life. Both may seem proper solutions in the short term, but rarely do they result in anything but greater pain and suffering in the future. Let’s continue the military metaphor as we discuss suicidal thoughts.

I have suffered from depression for several years now, and I’ve seen almost all the forms that suicidal thoughts can take. To someone meeting me for the first time on a good day, I appear to be a happy, quick-to-laugh individual full of a joie de vivre. I think of this as the Robin Williams effect; people with depression are often the quickest to smile and first to laugh in any group. For metaphorical purposes, the best comparison to this I can think of is Germany in the late 1930s. At the Berlin Olympics of ’36, the world was shown a thriving, united nation that had broken from the depths of the Great Depression (funny, that), a nation that could serve as a role model to the world. This façade of greatness disguised the spreading rot within the state, a hollowness that eventually consumed all of Europe.

But the focus of this article isn’t on outward appearances but rather on the interior, the mindset of someone with suicidal depression. The central theme of this mindset is rationalization of the irrational. This is why I chose war as my metaphor of choice. The entire process of entering into conflict, especially in this modern age of reason and enlightenment, revolves around finding a way to rationalize it. War simply cannot occur if the people see no reason for it, so the hawkish parties in the government or leadership must have proper justification to engage. This is what suicidal thoughts are at their core, an attempt by fringe factions within the mind to justify something unjustifiable.

In depression and war, suicide and hostilities are often described as being the only choice. “All other options are gone!” “Diplomacy has failed us! Now is a time for fists and bombs!” “The only way to end the pain is to end it all!” These statements are, usually, lies. The only case I can think of in which there is no other choice is when a nation has been attacked by another, but even then surrender remains a viable choice. In the Second World War, Denmark was the next target for German expansion. The Danes knew this, and days before the invasion came the Danish government ordered their entire country to stand down and offer only token resistance, saving the lives of the majority of their military.

What I’m getting at is the fact that there are always other options. Neither suicide nor war are foregone conclusions, and neither results in anything but pain for those around you. The First World War was barely justified to begin with, the result of a tangled web of secret alliances and ambitious power plays, and its end saw the deaths of millions and the ruin of Europe, setting the stage for both the Second World War and the Cold War. Suicide often seems to be justified as an end to the pain of life, but it will always, always, cause more pain than it alleviates.

The final point to consider is that suicide and war are often impulsive. Given time and truly rational thought, neither war nor suicide will ever occur. According to a 2005 study (more info here), almost 75% of survivors deliberated for less than one hour before attempting suicide, and only 13% had been contemplating taking their lives for a day or more. Both war and suicide are often the result of temporary crises, they are knee-jerk overreactions to outside events.

Conflict and suicide are extensions of irrationality, situations in which human emotion overcomes our ability to reason. They cost countless lives every year and offer nothing in exchange. They are the most persistent net losses in our normally economical society, and yet they remain unevenly addressed. Deaths at war are prominent and widely-publicized in the United States, but suicide takes a far greater toll. Just over 7,000 Americans have died at war since 1990. Almost 43,000 Americans take their own lives every year.

That's more than the entire population of Monaco or Liechtenstein, both of which have populations of 35,000, committing suicide yearly. It's the same as the entire population of St. Kitts and Nevis killing themselves annually. It is far too high, and it is in the United States alone. Worldwide, more than 800,000 people kill themselves every year. That's more people than live in six major US territories; Alaska, North and South Dakota, Washington, D.C., Vermont, and Wyoming.

Suicide, like war, is the irrational made to seem rational. Like war, it sows naught but death and misery. Thousands fall to it every year, and yet it is viewed as a sensitive subject, not necessarily fit for public discussion. It goes ignored, save by those who are forced to face it every day.